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Throughout my therapy sessions with children and teens we often talk about family dynamics and time spent together. Or lack of time spent together as the case often is.
We’re a busy society.
Kids are in extra-curricular activities. Parents have their own activities, hobbies, and ministries. And often, time spent together as a family seems like a far off option.
Many families aren’t eating together. People are retreating into their own rooms or areas of the house. And everyone has their face stuck in their smartphone or other electronic devices.
The Importance of Family Time
Interacting as a family helps our children to solidify a sense of belonging. We all want to belong but during childhood and teen years the desire to “fit in” is tremendous. If your child doesn’t feel like they have a solid place in the family, they will find other groups to be a part of. Unfortunately not all of the choices are great.
It encourages self-esteem and self-worth. Our children’s identities are just forming. Which means there are insecurities, doubts, and questions running rampant. But family time can encourage their sense of identity.
There generally is an increase in positive behaviors of kids when they have quality time with parents. As much as your child (especially during the teen years) may tell you otherwise – they really want your attention and interaction. They want to talk with you and tell you about their life. When family time is consistent, children feel comfortable to relax and engage.
Family time increases bonding by creating memories and family traditions. Some people don’t call family time “family traditions” because it maybe wasn’t intentional or the thought is “it’s just what a family does.” But I can assure you, it no longer is what the majority of our society is doing as a family.
- A recent survey conducted by Eckrich(R), a product of ConAgra Foods, found that 40% of American families eat dinner together only three or fewer times a week, with 10 percent never eating dinner together at all.
- A poll of 2,000 parents conducted by Virgin Holidays and Universal Orlando Resort found that families spend about 36 minutes per weekday together.
Our Family Time: Family movie night
Every Friday, we have family movie night. It’s something the kids look forward to every week. “What movie are we going to watch?!”
A few years ago my husband and I splurged on a popcorn maker with the intention of starting this tradition. It’s better than movie theater popcorn because we get to control the butter and salt and we’ve found some pretty great seasonings for each of us to enjoy. (Seriously dill pickle is my favorite!)
The kids also get “kiddie cocktails” (7-UP with grenadine) which they enjoy helping me make. And we only let them have it for family movies. This helps to keep the night special.
The one area that can be difficult at times is finding family friendly movies. Some of the more mainstream family movies I’m not always a fan of. I don’t want to laugh and celebrate rude and disrespectful behaviors of kids. While that can be teaching moments for my children, it’s not something I want to have to do routinely.
As a family we have Amazon Prime and Netflix but I also more recently found Pureflix. I appreciate their guidance and ratings. They give a blurb about the move and recommendations on other movies that are similar. It also gives age recommendations and a guide on language, nudity, sex, and violence. That way there aren’t any surprises that then later have to be explained.
Yep, I completely forgot how much cussing was in the Goonies until we were watching it with the kids! Oops!
Then after the movie our kids always have a “dance party” as the credits roll. They make up dances and my husband and I have to come up with goofy names for them. (the twirling twinkle-toes, the maniac mamba…)
Pureflix also has homeschool resources which I didn’t know about until recently. I passed that tidbit of information onto the homeschool hubby!
Some great family friendly movies are:
- A dog’s Tale
- A Perfect Cord
- Catching Faith
- Where the Red Fern Grows (an old classic!) – we watched this one as a family after our son read the book.
- The Case for Christ – a great one for a family with kids over 12.
Family time obviously doesn’t have to be family movie night. Anything that connects your family and gives your kids something to look forward to is what’s important.
Other Family Time Options:
- Game night
- Craft night
- Outdoor activities and adventures
- World Cuisine night (I would really like to start this one!)
- Karaoke night
- Dance party or Rock Band Night
- Wii Sports
- Out to eat night
- Read a book out loud together or listen to an audio book
- Bonfires and s’mores
- Family bike ride
- Bowling
- Attend a sporting event
If you already have a “family time” event or a favorite family movie, I would love to hear about it in the comments below!
God bless!
Melissa
p.s. Check out all of the beautiful sites I linkup with.
The stats about family eating together…wow! Such a flip from 30 years ago.
I knew it was bad but I was surprised it was that bad, too. The importance of family in general has greatly diminished. It’s sad and we have to reclaim the focus! God bless!
Oh, this makes me think, too of end of April with “Screen free week” – a great time for families to get off the screen and into each other.
Yes – now if the weather (in Iowa) would cooperate we could actually spend time together outside and not freeze! 🙂
These are great ideas! I have so many cherished memories of family time, and I’m excited to put them into practice when my husband and I have kids!
It’s a lot of fun to get to see the kids get excited and look forward to family time! Thanks for stopping by! God bless!
Thanks for these “family time” ideas. It’s so hard to hold on to family time in the midst of all our busy schedules, but a battle so worthy of fighting! Thanks for the encouragement.
It IS worth fighting for! We only have our kids for so long before they are old enough to leave and eventually have families of their own! Thank you for stopping by and commenting. God bless!
This post is so very important. Thank you for taking the time to share it. Families are so very important to our children. We need to continue to remind ourselves how important family time is.
Thank you Rosemerry. Families are important to our children however our society pushes against that. It’s up to us to hold that time dear. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your comments. God bless!
Family time is important and is almost a lost activity for most families! We wonder why the culture is falling apart.. this is a huge element!
Yes! The loss of the marriage unity and the family unit are huge as to why our society is failing. It’s incredibly sad and frustrating that others are celebrating things without recognizing the long-term ramifications. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Our family loves to got on hiking trips. It’s a great way to spend time together and actually interact. Meal time is also something we strive to do together, though it’s not as easy to make it happen now that our kids are getting older. We do make sure that nothing interrupts our Sunday dinner though.
I’m so excited to do hiking trips with my children with they get a little older!! On Mondays we aren’t able to do mealtime all together as I work late but the rest of the days of the week we make it a priority. Even if that means our meal times are different each evening because of activities. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experiences. God bless!
We are implementing a once a month weekend camp out for the family!
That would be so much fun! I’m hoping for more camping opportunities this Summer as well! Thank you for sharing your family time idea. God bless!
We know that family times must mean a lot to God because He talks about us being brothers and sisters. I believe God wants us to prepare for our family time in heaven. On earth we know how much it means to us to spend time with family, so doesn’t it make sense God would want us to spend time with Him? Maybe, that is why there are so many potlucks at church. Also, where was Jesus before He was crucified? Jesus was at the Last Supper with His family of brothers. Just a few thoughts and great reminders of the value of setting time aside for family because it truly does make us richer!
So true! The bible is rich with discussion and examples about family, the importance of family, and spending time together as family. Thank you for sharing your insights with us! God bless!
Family time help in — it encourages self-esteem and self-worth. That’s 100% true! We honor God by giving time to our families.
Yes, and far too often priorities can get jumbled. Even when we are doing other “good” stuff. I know I can fall victim to this with balancing a full-time job and trying to run this blog. I need to ensure I am putting my family first when they need me. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
I was just spending time with my friend’s two step-daughters, and they really bonded with me in just one day because I actually spent time with them and asked them questions about their life.
I think many parents forget how important just listening and being interested is. All you have to do is make your kids feel like they’re really important and be interested in their lives.
A great way to bond is by learning together too… here’s a cool site: http://www.preparemykid.com