Book Review – Raising Men Not Boys

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One of the areas that I am passionate about is the skewed way society is viewing our men and women. There appears to be an emphasis on elevating women and simultaneously devaluing men.

Women are being encouraged to emulate more masculine qualities and leave behind God’s design.

At the same time our men are be emasculated.

These disparities are taking place even down to how society wants us to raise our sons and daughters.

I was then intrigued by Mike Fabarez’s book Raising Men, Not Boys – Shepherding Your Sons to be Men of God.

Raising Men, Not Boys – Shepherding Your Sons to be Men of God

Mike Fabarez is the founding pastor of Compass Bible Church in Aliso Viejo, California. He is the graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Talbot School of Theology, and Westminster Theological Seminary in California. Mike is also the author of several other books including: Lifelines for Tough Times, Preaching That Changes Lives, and Exploring the Gospel: Being Sure You’re Right with God.

I greatly appreciate Mike’s style of writing. He tackles tough topics through biblical references and then offers practical tips on how to carry out those principles. As a Christian mental health therapist and a mom to a son, I found myself continually nodding and taking notes.

So, let us unashamedly look to God’s Word as we seek to raise our children and guide our boys in becoming the men God has designed them to be. – Mike Fabarez

Envision a Man’s Future Every Day

Mike discusses the importance of raising our sons to be successful adults. He emphasizes the need to make this our daily intention for our sons as they are battling a societal view that is against them.

Set His Spiritual Trajectory

The book focuses on how to help our sons build and sustain their relationship with God. Mike breaks down the chapter into areas of: putting God as a priority, having clarity about the gospel, and becoming a child of God.

This is a chapter that I know I will reference many times as my son gets older.

A Home That Builds Godly Men

Mike discusses the importance of modeling a home in the way that God designed. He focuses on the hierarchy of marriage, modeling marital roles, and encouraging masculinity.

Quell the Rebellion of His Sinful Heart

This chapter focuses on the importance of boundaries, rules, and discipline. I appreciate Mike’s distinction between correction and direction and his use of the book of Proverbs in teaching his sons.

Again, the use of biblical teaching and practical application are great.

Make Him Sweat Every Day

The book breaks down the understanding that your son is a boy and the importance of letting him be a boy – energetic, wild, and adventurous. Certainly there are times to reign that in, but Mike give practical advice on how to cultivate and harness these qualities.

Instill a Manly Work Ethic

The book addresses the importance of work and teaching our sons the joy and gift of work. Too often work gets viewed as drudgery. Mike breaks down the use of chores, how to combat laziness and excuses but then how to employ appropriate schedules and rest.

Help Him Foster Dominion Over His Wallet

Mike breaks down the importance of teaching your son the concept of money through biblical knowledge and then relevant application. This is an area that can cause such distress when either money becomes too much of an emphasis an idol or becomes used to flippantly.

Raising Men in a World Half-Full of Women

Mike takes on the difficult topics of sex. He reinforces the relevance of the topic in the bible as the early Christians were also surrounded by sexual immorality. Mike focuses on appropriately teaching your son about relationship with women through having the sex talk, teaching chivalry, acknowledging sexual desires, dating and even how to choose a wife.

These are tough topics that the book helps to lay out practical tips and advice to help your sons navigate.

Prepare Him to Face the World

Mike uses this chapter to help address the importance of teaching our sons how to be socially mature and likable to others but with the understanding that their words and actions are accountable first and foremost to God their Maker.

He discusses the importance of serving people and loving others through battling selfishness and seeking humility.

A Righteous Man’s Fun and Games

Mike holds no punches as he describes the every growing number of grown-up “boys”. He describes the stark contrast to that image and how God designed men to be. The focus of the chapter is not about demonizing fun but rather helping our sons understand the balance and priority fun and games should play in their life.

Wisdom to Navigate the Teen Years

As the teen years are not an easy parenting task, Mike devotes a whole chapter to this topic! He discusses the importance of preparing yourself for the transitions that are going to happen. The book tackles topics of curfew, drugs and alcohol, power struggles and respect.

Final Thoughts

I believe I have found my new go-to book for parents of sons. I strongly recommend this book and think it is one you will take notes on and reference again and again.

Disclaimer: I was given a free copy of this book by Moody Publishers in exchange for a review. All opinions are my own. 

For more of my book reviews check out posts on Restore, Transforming Grace,  Trust Protocol, Anatomy of an Affair,  A Life Long Love, The Five Love Languages, Curious Faith, Captivating, and Made to Crave.

I hope you enjoyed the review and have found yet another book to add to your reading wish list!

God bless!

Melissa