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One of the areas that I am passionate about is the skewed way society is viewing our men and women. There appears to be an emphasis on elevating women and simultaneously devaluing men.
Women are being encouraged to emulate more masculine qualities and leave behind God’s design.
At the same time our men are be emasculated.
These disparities are taking place even down to how society wants us to raise our sons and daughters.
I was then intrigued by Mike Fabarez’s book Raising Men, Not Boys – Shepherding Your Sons to be Men of God.
Raising Men, Not Boys – Shepherding Your Sons to be Men of God
Mike Fabarez is the founding pastor of Compass Bible Church in Aliso Viejo, California. He is the graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Talbot School of Theology, and Westminster Theological Seminary in California. Mike is also the author of several other books including: Lifelines for Tough Times, Preaching That Changes Lives, and Exploring the Gospel: Being Sure You’re Right with God.
I greatly appreciate Mike’s style of writing. He tackles tough topics through biblical references and then offers practical tips on how to carry out those principles. As a Christian mental health therapist and a mom to a son, I found myself continually nodding and taking notes.
So, let us unashamedly look to God’s Word as we seek to raise our children and guide our boys in becoming the men God has designed them to be. – Mike Fabarez
Envision a Man’s Future Every Day
Mike discusses the importance of raising our sons to be successful adults. He emphasizes the need to make this our daily intention for our sons as they are battling a societal view that is against them.
Set His Spiritual Trajectory
The book focuses on how to help our sons build and sustain their relationship with God. Mike breaks down the chapter into areas of: putting God as a priority, having clarity about the gospel, and becoming a child of God.
This is a chapter that I know I will reference many times as my son gets older.
A Home That Builds Godly Men
Mike discusses the importance of modeling a home in the way that God designed. He focuses on the hierarchy of marriage, modeling marital roles, and encouraging masculinity.
Quell the Rebellion of His Sinful Heart
This chapter focuses on the importance of boundaries, rules, and discipline. I appreciate Mike’s distinction between correction and direction and his use of the book of Proverbs in teaching his sons.
Again, the use of biblical teaching and practical application are great.
Make Him Sweat Every Day
The book breaks down the understanding that your son is a boy and the importance of letting him be a boy – energetic, wild, and adventurous. Certainly there are times to reign that in, but Mike give practical advice on how to cultivate and harness these qualities.
Instill a Manly Work Ethic
The book addresses the importance of work and teaching our sons the joy and gift of work. Too often work gets viewed as drudgery. Mike breaks down the use of chores, how to combat laziness and excuses but then how to employ appropriate schedules and rest.
Help Him Foster Dominion Over His Wallet
Mike breaks down the importance of teaching your son the concept of money through biblical knowledge and then relevant application. This is an area that can cause such distress when either money becomes too much of an emphasis an idol or becomes used to flippantly.
Raising Men in a World Half-Full of Women
Mike takes on the difficult topics of sex. He reinforces the relevance of the topic in the bible as the early Christians were also surrounded by sexual immorality. Mike focuses on appropriately teaching your son about relationship with women through having the sex talk, teaching chivalry, acknowledging sexual desires, dating and even how to choose a wife.
These are tough topics that the book helps to lay out practical tips and advice to help your sons navigate.
Prepare Him to Face the World
Mike uses this chapter to help address the importance of teaching our sons how to be socially mature and likable to others but with the understanding that their words and actions are accountable first and foremost to God their Maker.
He discusses the importance of serving people and loving others through battling selfishness and seeking humility.
A Righteous Man’s Fun and Games
Mike holds no punches as he describes the every growing number of grown-up “boys”. He describes the stark contrast to that image and how God designed men to be. The focus of the chapter is not about demonizing fun but rather helping our sons understand the balance and priority fun and games should play in their life.
Wisdom to Navigate the Teen Years
As the teen years are not an easy parenting task, Mike devotes a whole chapter to this topic! He discusses the importance of preparing yourself for the transitions that are going to happen. The book tackles topics of curfew, drugs and alcohol, power struggles and respect.
Final Thoughts
I believe I have found my new go-to book for parents of sons. I strongly recommend this book and think it is one you will take notes on and reference again and again.
Disclaimer: I was given a free copy of this book by Moody Publishers in exchange for a review. All opinions are my own.
For more of my book reviews check out posts on Restore, Transforming Grace, Trust Protocol, Anatomy of an Affair, A Life Long Love, The Five Love Languages, Curious Faith, Captivating, and Made to Crave.
I hope you enjoyed the review and have found yet another book to add to your reading wish list!
God bless!
Melissa
Malinda
Wow, I want this book! Thanks for the review!
Melissa
I’m glad you enjoyed the review! I hope you find the book as beneficial as I did. God bless!
Emily | To Unearth
I completely agree with you that the world is skewing how God designed men and women. Not only is God’s design for women being skewed by parents allowing their daughters to change genders when they simply act like a tomboy or enjoy more boy-like clothing (talk about devaluing what it means to be a female!), but society is cheering on women for ruining the lives of men by accusing them of abuse at every turn. It’s SO important to teach our children how to live according to God’s standards, and this sounds like a great book to guide a parent of boys!
Melissa
Yes! To everything you pointed out. This is such a sad time for both our girls and boys. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your insights. God bless!
Erin
“There appears to be an emphasis on elevating women and simultaneously devaluing men.” I couldn’t have put it better. I’m genuinely excited to get this book. Would you recommend that my husband read it first?
Melissa
I don’t know that it would matter the order but I do recommend you husband definitely read it as well. God bless!
Leigh
It sounds like the author has covered every angle! I agree we need more strong men around to be suitable matches for all the strong women!
Melissa
He certainly crammed a lot of information into a relatively short book! Thank you for stopping by and God bless!
Alice Mills’
Honestly I could have used this when I was raising my step-son. I think I will see if my daughter-in law is interested. Sounds like some wisdoms here.
Melissa
It is a solid book! I really enjoyed the biblical with the practical.
Julie
Sounds like a great book! I think my husband and I should both read this since we have 4 boys. Many days I feel like I’m failing in raising these boys!
Melissa
I think it would be a great book for you guys with four boys! God bless!