A Wife Wants to be Desired by her Husband – a post for both husbands and wives
Let’s be honest, this is why Hollywood and Bookstores make so much money off of romance movies and novels!
We love the idea of someone yearning and desiring for us. Little girls pretend and act out this scenario all the time!
And it’s not a bad thing! It doesn’t make us weak or less than because we want to feel desired!
Because our want to feel desired comes from God! We are all made in God’s image but males and females have different attributes from Him. It’s not that men don’t want to feel desired, they do, but it holds a different importance to women.
Truthfully, if a woman says she doesn’t want to be desired it is likely due to past pain and wounds that has lead her to guard herself from that want.
God wants to be desired by us, too! He wants us to yearn for him and seek Him. He wants us to have an intimate relationship with Him. And He gives us that choice! What good is love by someone else if it isn’t their choice? You would never know if their love for you was genuine. Our Lord is a romantic!
Husbands – ways to show your wife you desire her
- Words of affirmation about what turns you on about your wife; personality, characteristically and physically.
- Let her know why you chose her over other women
- Express small intimate physical touch. Place your hand on her lower back, kiss her neck as she is looking down, stroke her face with your hand, look her in the eyes as you say “I love you”.
- Buy her lingerie for no reason
Wives – dos and don’ts to get your husband to show you he desires you
- Do – let him know you desire him
- Do – let him know you want to be desired by him
- Do – let him know why you want to feel desired
- Don’t – try to make him jealous
- Don’t – try to play coy and act like it doesn’t matter
When you don’t feel desired by your husband know that God desires you!
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom. 5:8
God paid the ultimate sacrifice of His son because He desires you! God wants you to know his everlasting love for You! I
A Wife wants to be Swept Off her Feet by her Husband
This can mean both literally and figuratively! Think of all of the romance movies that show a large gesture and expression of love from the guy to the girl. Wives want to feel that showered in love.
Not all the time. But more than just the holidays!
This desire also comes from God! Doesn’t He want us to show Him large expressions of our love?! We are called to make open statements about our faith and our love for God. We are not to be embarrassed or ashamed of our relationship with Him!
A wife wants her husband to show that level of pride and confidence in his love for them, too!
Husbands – ways to sweep your wife off her feet
- plan a romantic dinner; either at a restaurant or homemade
- take her dancing or dance lessons
- spontaneously take the day off together
- Go some place she has always wanted to go; the new little coffee place around the corner, a bed and breakfast or far away travels.
- take a bath together in candlelight
Wives – dos and don’t to get your husband to sweep you off your feet
- Do – grand gestures to show your husband you love him
- Do – tell him places you would like to go or do
- Do – share your bucket-list ideas
- Don’t – expect him to be able to read your mind
- Don’t – brag about the things your friend’s husband has done for her
- Don’t – watch a romance movie with your husband and say in a sarcastic tone “That would be nice!”
When your husband has not swept you off of your feet and you are feeling depleted, know that God continues to show you grand gestures of love on a daily basis! You only have to look for them!
“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
A Wife Wants to be Pursued by her Husband
A wife want to be continually pursued beyond the words “I do”. We want to be wooed, sought after and pursued. Wives want to know that their husbands continue to believe they made the right choice in taking you to be their wives! They want more than just “I love you” and a peck on the lips as you leave the house and go to bed.
This is also a desire of our Lord! He wants us to pursue Him on a daily basis. God wants our relationship to be more than once a week. He wants us to continue to work at our relationship Him and to make it a priority.
That is absolutely our heart as a wife, too!
Husbands – ways you can pursue your wife
- Set time aside everyday to talk with your wife
- Get to know her current interests, friends, and favorites
- Check-in throughout the day just because
- Don’t let her walk away sad
Wives – dos and don’t to get your husband to pursue you
- Do – pursue your husband
- Do – talk about what you liked about how your husband pursued you before marriage. (not in a snarky tone!)
- Do – thank him for times he does pursue you
- Do – let him know how loved and secure you feel when he pursues you
- Don’t – walk away or leave just to see if he will follow
- Don’t – be quiet or guarded to test if he will check to see if you are okay
- Don’t – respond to your husband pursuing you in a harsh manner “it’s about time…”
When your husband is not pursuing you the way he once was, know that God wants to woo you daily! He knows your worth and He wants an eternal relationship with you! He give you flowers and sunsets for your delight!
“In all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death or life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
My sincere prayer for this post is that both you and your spouse can read it to start a conversation in an area that may be difficult.
For more posts about marriage please check out my Marriage tab above or link directly to the following articles: Choose Love Daily, Why 50/50 Marriages Don’t Work, When you put your Marriage First The Whole Family Wins, Sexual Intimacy in a Marriage is a Gift, The Importance of Adventure as a Married Couple.
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