24 Comments

  1. Sometimes we just have to own up and tell our spouses what we need. We all have our ways of manipulating our spouses to get them to fill our needs. But the truth is that it doesn’t count less if we have to let them in on our needs before they fulfill them.

    • melissa

      Absolutely! And everyone would rather be told how to care for their spouse rather than feel like they were tricked into it! Thank you for reading and commenting! God Bless!

  2. I love this! All I ever hear is the opposite, that the wife has to do everything. If the husband is truly desiring, pursuing, and sweeping his wife off her feet, it’s so easy for her to be excited about him!

    • melissa

      It really is a balance. A husband has to know how to pursue and sometimes that means a wife has to appropriately show him without playing games. Thank you for reading and commenting! God Bless!

  3. The “do’s” are so good, but I so appreciate that you included the “don’t’s.” Making our love flourish in a positive way is so important.

    • melissa

      It is so important! And unfortunately when people try to seek out love from our spouse they can get too focused on receiving the love that they do it in ways that can actually harm the marriage. Thank you for reading and commenting! God Bless!

  4. It’s true that God calls us to make an open statement of faith and love towards Him. And it’s not just a one time thing! It should be the same in marriage, though we tend to get complacent about expressing it everyday to our significant others. Great ideas for husbands and wives to get back into pursuing one another!

    • melissa

      It is amazing how we want God to pursue us or we pursue Him often is how we pursue and want to be pursued by our spouse. When we are healthier and more focused on our relationship with God our marriages flourish as well! Thank you for reading and commenting! God Bless!

  5. Amen, amen, amen! All too often I witness women who don’t realize or don’t care that their relationship with their husbands comes before ALL others, excluding her relationship with Christ of course.

    • melissa

      It is the most important Earthly relationship we can engage in and loving our spouse well can be God honoring and glorifying! Thank you for reading and commenting! God Bless!

    • melissa

      Thank you Lisa. I plan on writing a follow up post as well focused on husbands. Thank you for reading and commenting! God Bless!

  6. Melissa, I love the gold nugget here that when we don’t feel desired, know that we are desired by God. It is impossible to fill every need of our spouse or be filled completely, and it is such comfort to know we have a God who is always crazy about us!

    • melissa

      It is such a beautiful comfort! Resting in that knowledge also allows us to release our spouses from that impossible role. That alone increases our happiness and contentment in our marriage. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

    • melissa

      Thank you for your kind words and for stopping by to read and comment! God bless and good luck on the bible study launch! It really is beautiful!

  7. I am going to grab this and share on my FB page today. I am teaming up with another blogger to talk about sex from God’s perspective on being married and single! Thanks for the great tips

    • melissa

      Thank you for sharing with others. I also have a post specifically focusing on Sexual Intimacy in Marriage as a Gift. Sounds like that would fit, too! Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

  8. This was a good post although I have to add something to your first list to husbands. I would only want ONE of those things on the list so I think its important to have a discussion with your wife sometime soon on what SHE would like, since we are all different.

    I especially liked that you advised women not to play games, be coy or sarcastic, etc.

    • melissa

      Yes, Kathleen, you are right. All of us ladies are different and it’s important for your husband’s to know you would like specifically. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

  9. You have some really great tips here. I love how this post is addressed to men and women and how you give dos and don’ts for women. We can’t expect our husbands to give us what we aren’t giving them. Your blog was a great find at the Grace and Truth linkup. God bless!

    • melissa

      Thank you for those kind words! Marriage is not 50/50 but giving loving our spouse as God has called us to do. Thank you for stopping by and commenting! God bless!

  10. Diana

    What do you fa as a wife when you do show desire for your husband and you have tried to let him know what you need from him and it does no good? I’ve been trying for 9 years to get my husband to desire me. Desire died the day we said I do. I’m lucky if he will touch me once a year. Trust me I’ve shared my thoughts, my feelings, and my desire for him. He just gets mad.

    • Melissa

      I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, Diana. It sounds like you would benefit from some therapy support so that you would be able to discuss the detailed history of our marriage as well as explore both of your histories prior to marriage. Many prayers and courage for you and your marriage. God bless!

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