I Don’t NEED My Husband
At first glance that sounds like such a terrible statement. I love my husband. He truly is my favorite person on this Earth. He has been an amazing support through me getting a master’s degree and moving states twice because of my career. Marriage with to him is easy. He’s an amazing father and actually homeschools our kids. (Wow, right?!)
And I thank God daily for bringing my husband into my life. I love him that much.
But. I don’t need him! Not anymore, anyway.
Early years
My husband and I met when I was nineteen. I was shy, anxious and struggled significantly with my self-worth. There had been a previous guy that hadn’t helped matters. And I had been unintentionally raised to believe my worth was dependent upon how others viewed me. The combination meant I was a mess.
I also was a pretty new Christian. I had been raised Catholic until my parents got divorced when I was thirteen. That put a bit of a kink in our church-going. My parents were damned to Hell according to a nun. My mom and I continued to go to church but it wasn’t necessarily with a joyful heart and there weren’t many options in small-town Iowa.
I was seventeen years old when I felt God’s presence for the first time and was saved. It was at a confirmation retreat walking up a hillside weaving through the stations of the cross. The woods were beautiful and God’s presence was palpable. And I also realized how little the Catholic church had taught me about a personal relationship with Jesus.
I felt like I was in limbo until I went to college. Faith in my family was viewed as very personal and private so I didn’t feel like I could talk about my experience. And truthfully I didn’t really know what my experience was.
So as a nineteen years old I still didn’t have much of a personal relationship with God. I didn’t understand His love for me or my worth through Him.
In the early years I apologized often. For little to no reason. I felt constantly on edge that my husband (at the time boyfriend) was going to leave me. Although he gave me no rational reason to believe that to be true. It was a nagging feeling ever present. “Why does he love me?” “He’s going to find someone better.” “You’re not good enough for him.”
These thoughts continued throughout our five years of dating and engagement. I was hopeful that these feelings would go away once we were married. But they didn’t.
I share the rest of my story over at Deb Wolf’s site Counting My Blessings.
I pray the full story blesses you and helps you to shift your dependence.
God bless!
Melissa
This story does bless me! Thank you! ❤
I’m glad you found it beneficial! Thank you Donna! God bless!
What a wonderful and picture of growth you have shared. Thank you.
Thank you Rosemerry! God bless!
Thank you for sharing this, what a beautiful story
Thank you Terri! God bless!
Thank you for sharing your story! Going to read the rest over at Deb’s site.
Thanks Julie! God bless!
You are spot on , on this amazing topic. Husband’s can never heal us nor complete us. They can only complement us. Christ can heal and complete us.
So true Diana! And their is such a difference between complement and complete. Far too often those roles get confused. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Beautiful testimony. We are so blessed by God’s love. I have just finished reading Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free. At the end of each chapter there is a list of Bible verses that point us to the truth of God’s word.
Thank you Carol. I have heard wonderful things about that book! It’s on my ever growing list of books. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
I too come from a rocky background before meeting my husband. I will tell you though…I do need him. I know for a fact I could not raise our kids (one with special needs) without him. But it’s a need that I choose, if that makes sense. It comes from letting others in when I am so fiercely independent. It took God breaking down a great many walls for me to admit “need.”
That does make sense. God is amazing on how He alters our circumstances to best fit our issues and areas of weakness. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experiences. God bless!
Melissa – Thank you for hosting with Grace and Truth. I am a brand new host and I look forward to reading more of your posts. I did go over to Deb’s site and leave a comment. I loved this post. God needs to be our #1. Amen – Blessings, – Maree
Thank you so much for stopping by and for clicking through to read the full story at Deb’s site. God, does indeed need to be our #1. God bless, Maree!
Our identity should certainly be “in Christ” and not dependent on another person. After spending 16 years of my adult life as a widow, I didn’t need my husband for the purpose of self worth, but the Lord has greatly used him to inspire me to become a better person – a better Christian. He says I’ve done the same for him, and I believe that’s one of the best possible blessings of a Christian marriage.
Yes! My husband has been my rock and my support in helping me seek God better. That is absolutely the best blessing of a Christian marriage. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Good post, love this sharing so much, thank you!
Thank you for Sharing such a great story