22 Comments

    • melissa

      Given the name, it’s not necessarily a book couples gravitate towards because of the potential stigma attached. I wanted to review it to help others realize just how relevant it is to all marriages. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

    • melissa

      Your welcome! I’m glad the review was beneficial! I think the title may be a bit off putting for some people but it really is a book for all couples to read! Thank you for stopping by and commenting! God bless!

  1. It seems like spouses shouldn’t think about what type of person they are attracted to, but instead, ask God to give them delight in their own spouse. I don’t like spouses who point out who they are attracted to, as if they were open sexually to those people. It doesn’t occur to me to think that way, since my husband is the one that is for me. Why pick out the kind of man I would be attracted to if my husband didn’t matter? It would open my mind to infidelity for the first time, and I would never ever want that to happen!

    • melissa

      I see your concern, Susan and I completely agree with asking God to give them delight in their own spouse. Recognizing warning signs or dangerous situations is not okaying the situation to happen but rather doing so to guard yourself from the situation. It’s about checking the marriage to see where issues may arise and then arm yourself against it. Thank you for sharing your insights! God bless!

  2. does he discuss the devastation of pron on a relationship? Somehow we do not see this as the “affair” it really is.
    With the internet, the access is amazing and young boys are brought it by friends and fathers. It is crippling to any relationship with real humans

    • melissa

      Pornography is viewed as a sex addiction which Dave Carder does describe as one of the classifications of affairs. Sex addiction needs to be dealt with prior to marriage counseling. The addicted person needs to be sober and seeking other supports before marriage counseling is going to be effective. Pornography absolutely is devastating! It has been turned into ‘normal’ by the mainstream exposure. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. God bless!

  3. There were some interesting points shared here. I do believe the simple way to avoid an affair is to make Christ first in our lives. If a husband and wife are right with God (saved and truly reading and studying God’s word and obeying it) then it is much easier to be right with each other. Knowledge and wisdom in applying God’s word is key also. Some Christians end up putting “ministry” or the “church” before their family’s needs. There is some discernment needed.

    • melissa

      Tracy you’re right, the best route in all aspects of our life is to put Christ first! We would also be wise to understand in what ways we are weak and/or susceptible to temptation so we can avoid them as we are called to flee!

  4. Sounds like a good book! At first, I thought, my hubby and I haven’t had issues like this, but there’s always a first time for everything. We are just one thought away, one action away and Satan is all too happy to help destroy a relationship!

    • melissa

      Thank you for your comment, Julie! This is such a great point. It is important that we are aware of all of the potential ways Satan could attempt to lure us from God and our relationships that He holds dear! Thank you again for reading and commenting! God bless!

    • melissa

      It is a good read and not one that I think many “healthy” marriages would read which is why I wanted to review the book to bring to light the importance. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

    • melissa

      I agree! There are many great marriage books that I think newlyweds would benefit from. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

  5. His formula is interesting, and the fact that he included learning disabilities in the list of risk factors intriguing. Makes me want to thumb through the book myself! 🙂

    • melissa

      At first glance, the inclusion of learning disabilities seems extreme, however, often individuals with learning disabilities have had struggles throughout childhood. They often have gotten into trouble for situations beyond control. Because of this there can be an increased desire (whether recognized or not) to be accepted. That can lead to high-risk situations outside of marriage. Also, individuals with learning disabilities tend to struggle with impulse control. Also a risk factor. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

    • melissa

      Thank you Leigh! It is a beneficial book. Especially in that most couples don’t think about potential threats to their marriage in this way. Thank you for stopping by and sharing! God bless!

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