20 Comments

  1. It breaks my heart that children believe these things, and I know it takes a special person to step into the gap and work with them. Thank you for doing that. And thank you for helping the parents who are willing to step up and love these hurt children.

    • melissa

      Thank you Heather for your kind words. My hope is that by helping others understand why the behaviors are happening they can then have greater empathy to support these children. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!

  2. I can tell how you truly have a heart for what you do! It’s wonderful that you are following God’s call to help families and children. Thanks for sharing about this topic!

  3. I feel so sad that adopted children often feel that everything is out of control. We need to pray for these children, that they will develop normally and not always be jumpy in feeling they are not safe.

    • melissa

      Yes, we do need to pray for children who have not been born into situations that were healthy and/or safe! Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. God bless!

    • melissa

      Thank you so much Emily for the compliment. That warms my heart! Thank YOU for answering God’s call to bring in a hurting child! God bless you and your family!

  4. This was really helpful, Melissa! I can see so many behaviors I exhibited as a child. I thought something was wrong with me, I was made to feel bad but it was due to my circumstances!

    • melissa

      I’m sorry that you were made to feel that way. There’s never anything “wrong” with a child. There always is a reason driving the behavior, even if the children don’t consciously understand. I’m glad that you found the information helpful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. God bless!

    • melissa

      Some days it is just heartbreaking to watch the little ones struggling so badly. It breaks my heart. It’s a reminder of how broken our world is an how precious our children are. Thank you for reading and commenting. God bless!

  5. Melissa, keep writing this and keep sharing. So many people don’t understand the “why”–they simply see a problem and aim to fix the superficial. These kids need to have their hearts understood. Behaviors ALWAYS stem from the heart and to love a child means to get beyond what they do and look to what they need from us and the world.

    • melissa

      I wholeheartedly agree Jamie! This is a topic that God has placed near and dear to my heart. Thank you for the encouragement. God bless!

  6. Melissa, oh my goodness! I run a focus group (support group) for parents of special needs children at my church. This is amazingly helpful. We have a lot of foster parents who deal with these issues. Bless you! Sharing!

    • melissa

      Thank you for leading and supporting the parents! I’m so glad you found the post helpful and beneficial. God bless!

  7. Kathy

    Our FS who is 8 yo has a tendency to want to break things when he is angry. He used to throw legos around the house, or his toys. He doesn’t do that anymore. But he has ripped up photos of us with him, and of himself (school photo) – representing the part of RAD in him. We encourage talking about feeling angry. We explain to him the concept of “regret”, which when he is calm, he is starting to recognize what that feels like. We also encourage him to think of different ways to express his anger – to rip up construction paper when he is angry and make confetti, instead of ripping up personal items. It empowers him to think of different ways to handle his big feelings.

    • Melissa

      Kathy thank you for sharing your experience. Those sound like great options that you are giving him so that he has more appropriate ways of handling his distressing emotions. I would also recommend helping him understand the vulnerable emotions underneath the anger (sadness, worry/fear, and/or embarrassment/confusion). Thank you again for stopping by and sharing your experience. God bless!

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