The last devotional post I wrote about God’s forgiveness for us. It was a positive post that reminds us of God’s unconditional love and mercy when we place our faith in Him.
This post is a little harder.
Now we’re talking about forgiving others.
When we fail to forgive others it hinders our relationship with God.
God calls us to forgive others. When we don’t, we are disobeying Him. In times of disobedience, discipline may happen. And in times of discipline we are separating ourselves from God because of our behaviors.
At times I have worked with people who have described this discipline. They have stated, “I feel like God is punishing me for a situation I didn’t do.” But friends, they still had resentment in their heart. They were holding a grudge against a person they felt wronged them. And that bitterness was stopping them from being connected with God more fully. The negative emotions were consuming them and turning into an idol.
Forgiving others frees us from our past wounds. When we don’t forgive, we hold on to the pain and either become resentful or start believing the pain that was inflicted. Both of which restrict our ability to lean into God and allow Him to heal us.
Forgiving others doesn’t mean we approve of or condone the behavior or situation that took place. It just means we’re not going to let the situation hold us hostage any longer.
The situation I described above. The person they were so distressed over likely didn’t even remember the situation because it was decades ago.
How often does that happen to you? Someone cuts you off in traffic and you allow that one incident to alter your mood for part of or the whole day? Or the two ladies talking in the aisle at the grocery store with their carts in the way so you couldn’t get by? Do you allow their lack of awareness to get to you?
Now I certainly understand that there are many people reading this who have endured legitimately traumatic events at the hands of someone else. And we are still called to forgive them. Don’t allow that person to control you any longer by holding onto your pain. You are worth so much more than having the pain define you. I know forgiving others is a difficult process to work through, so I urge you to seek help if you need more support.
Please take the time to read the below bible scriptures and truly focus on what they are saying to you. Some passages may touch you differently than others. Writing down the verses in your own hand is helpful for some individuals. Possibly looking up the verses in your own bible may be beneficial. I use a NIV bible translation. Or reading them over and over to commit to memory. Whatever method works best for you to experience God’s words and feel closer to Him.
Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Ephesians 4:31-32
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another,forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
2 Corinthians 2:7-8
Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.
2 Corinthians 2:10-11
Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
I pray that this post and these verses meet you where you are today and help you to release the pain and forgive the person you have been harboring continued hurt towards.
God bless!
Melissa
Forgiving others is definitely hard, and sometimes it’s harder than others. Thanks for sharing this.
The times that it is harder seems to be times that we are more emotionally invested or more emotional in the moment. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
The bitterness is hard. Pray that I continue to work on the bitterness. I am at the point where I dearly love someone and even have empathy and understanding for why they do the things they do. But the bitterness lingers. I am so sorry. “Dear God, I am so sorry that I hold onto the bitterness.Amen”
Dear Lacy, Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities. Bitterness is so difficult. Let God heal your pain. Write down each area that has lead to the bitterness (it may be a long list) and release it to God. He doesn’t want us to told it. He doesn’t want us to harbor ill feelings. “Heavenly Father, You are so loving to all of your children. Show Lacy the way to release her pain to You so that she can know Your love more fully and in turn love and forgive others in return. Amen”
True forgiveness takes Christ working through us. I don’t think we can do it on our own especially when the hurt is deep.
Absolutely! So often we are not strong enough on our own. We’re not supposed to be. We need Christ’s love, power, and strength to let go. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
Forgiveness is so important for our spiritual health. I read once that when we don’t forgive, it is like we drink poison hoping the other person will die.
I’ve heard that analogy, too. It’s a powerful illustration and quite accurate. Thank you for stopping by and commenting! God bless!
Melissa- I believe this, “Forgiving others frees us from our past wounds.” I think my anxiety has stemmed from unforgiveness from my childhood. Over the last few years, I’ve been working through my past and my anxiety has gone from present every day to non-existent most days now.
Hallelujah! Praise God that you were able to realize the lack of forgiveness that was still in your heart. It can have such negative residual effects on our mental health and sometimes physical health as well. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
Forgiveness is hard, but so worth it! The blessings we receive when we forgive, the freedom from bitterness, freedom to love, freedom to worship unhindered – all so worth it!
It is so worth it! My heart is saddened for people who aren’t able to let go. They are missing out on so much love and joy! Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
“Forgiving others doesn’t mean we approve of or condone the behavior or situation that took place. It just means we’re not going to let the situation hold us hostage any longer.” I love that!
Thank you Susan! I work with far too many people who allow others to continue to control them far after whatever situation transpired. It only hurt them. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
This is such an important topic, Melissa, and one that is near and dear to my heart. I love how you’ve said that forgiving is recognizing that you don’t want to be held hostage by the pain and anger you feel. It’s not letting the other person off the hook. In my view, it’s releasing them to God. And He knows so much better than we do how to deal with our offenders! I also love that you’ve encouraged people who need to forgive someone to focus on and soak up the truths of Scripture. They are so healing to our hearts and I do this all the time–with or without the need to forgive someone. Great post, my friend!
Thank you for such kind words! Forgiveness is a topic that I discuss with many of my clients. I love how you describe releasing them to God. So true! Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
Definitely true that not forgiving is hard but not forgiving will eat you up. For quite a few years, I thought I had forgiven my sister for a deep, deep hurt. We were ever so close so I was amazed at what ended up more important to her that she would hurt me over it. It was a long, long process with God’s guiding to show me that to forgive actually in your heart gives the peace. I learned that I could forgive and still distance myself from further hurt, but the forgiveness had to be in my heart. I would think I had forgiven, but the grudge would show back up. It has to be genuine, and yes, I was convicted when going to prayer because I knew my heart wasn’t right. With forgiveness in my heart, I am at a much happier place. Such a right on post you share this morning. Thank you for a great reminder scriptures.
Family wounds are so much harder to forgive and heal as well. Praise God that you were able to take your pain to Him and bring forgiveness into your heart. Thank you for reading and sharing your story! God bless!
Forgiving others and letting go of bitterness is a key to personal freedom!
So true Elizabeth! Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!