Understanding and Striving for Humble Confidence
In my years of working with children and then having my own, I see patterns that occur in certain personality traits.
Most often in my office I work with children who struggle with self-esteem and self-worth issues. Because of their struggles I get to hear all of their wonderful accomplishments. They seek my approval so they want to showcase everything that is ‘good’ about them. Even the most gruff child wants my to hear my, “Good job! That’s awesome! You’re so…”
This was me to a T when I was little!
I felt the need to share my good works so that others could pat me on the back. But then I was met with the concept of bragging. Unfortunately, somewhere I confused bragging and confidence. I believed the lie that the two were the same and both were bad. Yet I still desired the accolades to fill my worth. And that lead to shame.
[ctt template=”9″ link=”44Q87″ via=”yes” ]Unfortunately, somewhere I confused bragging and confidence. I believed the lie that the two were the same and both were bad. Yet I still desired the accolades to fill my worth. And that lead to shame.[/ctt]
As I got older but still new in my faith, the concept of humility furthered my struggle with confidence. I didn’t know or understand how the two could co-exist.
I sought to follow God’s desire for me and to take His words to heart.
To read the rest of my story head over to Kelly R Baker’s site where I have the privilege of guest posting.
I pray that the post helps you to understand the relationship between humility and confidence.
For more more of my personal journeys read Celebrating Me because I am His.
God bless!
Melissa
Heather Hart
Yes! We can have confidence because of Jesus. There is a difference between pride and confidence. I am a better Christian today, because I am confident of who I am in Christ. Thanks for sharing this.
melissa
Unfortunately pride and confidence are often used as synonymous. Our lack of focus on language has lead to a disservice in so many areas of our lives. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! God bless!
Judith Okech
Seems like this confusion of bragging and confidence affects almost everyone. More than once especially when I was a teen, I have felt less worthy among my peers thinking they were bragging only to realize they were confident. We became the best of friends in adulthood though life separated us since most of us are miles apart. Great article.
melissa
It is such a common confusion. I agree! Once we put our focus on God and our worth in Him, our confidence grows. It is such a beautiful transformation. Thank you for reading and sharing your insights! God bless!
Susan Evans
“They are ready and willing to care for and serve others because they know who they are in God’s eyes.” So few people actually know how valued they are, and this leads to so many problems!
melissa
Such a true statement! When people don’t realize their value they are far more willing to live in ways that are outside of God’s designed path for them! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Julie
This was a great post, Melissa! I see myself in a lot of this. Understanding God’s love for me and grasping hold of it in confidence is an ongoing work for me. I pray I find this humble confidence!
melissa
It’s ongoing for me, too! Things will go well and then I’ll get brought back down. Thankfully the spiritual growth following tends to be bigger. God can use all things, right?! Thank you for stopping by and sharing! God bless!
Katie Braswell
“But I found another definition, the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.” I love this! I haven’t thought of confidence in this light before. I too have struggled with the same problem you did. I didn’t understand the marriage of both confidence and humility. I have confidence in the truth of God who tells me to live in humility. With my words, my actions, and my thoughts! Thank you for sharing and thank you for being vulnerable with us! <3
melissa
Language is so important! Whether it is seeking the understanding of biblical language or fully grasping our current language! We can have false understandings that guide how we view ourselves and the world. Who knew the dictionary was going to help me?! Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! God bless!
Malinda Just
Great post! I think it can be a common assumption that transformation WILL happen overnight, but in fact, it is life-long with many lessons (and opportunities to practice!) along the way!
melissa
So true Malina! We are a ‘right now’ society! But spiritual and personal development doesn’t work that way. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
Allyson
I love this! “But God is persistent in His pursuit of us!” – yes, yes, yes! No matter what our struggle is, He is always faithful.
melissa
Isn’t that such an overwhelmingly wonderful truth?! It brings so much peace and joy at the same time. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
Keisha
This was also me as a child! I always wanted my Dad’s approval for every little thing as well as my mother’s. I now know that my validation comes from God and God alone. Great post!
melissa
So true! And when we seek validation from anyone else but Him we are left empty very quickly once more. Thank you for stopping by and sharing! God bless!
Alice Mills
The most dangerous prayer I have ever prayed is asking God to relieve me of my pride. People think praying for patience is hard…
melissa
My prayer has always been to help me see my worth in Him. That helps me to shift my focus away from myself while still acknowledging my worth.
Nina
Such a great article and needed! I think that this is an area that many women struggle in.
melissa
Thank you, Nina. I agree. I believe many women have been taught that bragging, pride, and confidence are all the same and that has exacerbating negative self-worth. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
Amy Christensen
I posted a comment over where you posted the full article. A great post and I love how you showed the differences between confidence, bragging and humility. – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
melissa
Thank you Amy! I know that I’m not the only one who has struggled with this concept so I thought it would be beneficial to share my journey. Thank you for sharing here and on Kelly’s site. God bless!
Kristi
It is so important that we distinguish between those two things. We can have a humble confidence that flows from Christ without having to brag about it.
melissa
Absolutely! I wish I would have known that about fifteen years ago. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your insight! God bless!
Isabel Freitas
It’s hard to explain the difference between pride and confidence. I guess the line that separates both is the feeling behind the attitude. Does that confidence come from a good place in your heart? Confidence that you can do all things through Christ Jesus? Or does it come from a place of seeking others’ approval?
melissa
It is a fine line. Those are great distinctions to help a person ensure they are focusing on Christ to view their worth. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your insights. God bless!
Peabea
Great food for thought that I had never wondered about. As you say, even at times same as children, we need reaffirmation of who we are but we can go overboard with the attention getting process of bragging. It is nice to be a Christian and feel the affirmation and confidence of God’s Love even in the down times.
Loved seeing your visit and link up at Sunday Scripture Blessings. Thank you and that way I could come visit you. 🙂
Peabea@Peabea Scribbles
melissa
It is such a blessing when we know our worth based upon being children of God!
It’s a privilege to link up to your site! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! God bless!