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How to Break Your Emotional Eating Cycle – Part Two
In part one of this series I focused on understanding the different emotions and situations that emotional eating takes place. Truly, the only way to change something is to understand it. So if you haven’t had the opportunity to read part one I strongly encourage you to start there.
In this post, I will discuss ways to address and change each part of the cycle.
As defined in the first post, emotional eating can be separated into four different emotions and situations. Some people who emotionally eat don’t have a pattern with each of the four. Others bounce from one pattern to the next and back again.
We identified the four categories into rewards, comfort, guilt, and shame.
First, for each category ask yourself the question, am I hungry?
Often our hunger cues can get confused with cravings. Hunger is a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat. A craving is a powerful desire for something.
So the question is, am I hungry, meaning my body is lacking food and thus energy?
Or am I craving _______ because… The ‘because’ is what we’ll get into for each section by answering the series of questions.
If you find yourself in any of these emotional situations, take the time to answer these questions before you eat. This requires motivation and desire to want to change your behavior!
Rewards
Why do you feel you should be rewarded? What has made this particular situation a time for celebration? Why this food? What connection or tie do you have to this particular food? How were you rewarded when you were young?
Are there other ways you could celebrate? Are there people you could tell about your situation that would support your accomplishment? No. Why not? Have you shared your celebration with God?
Comfort
Why are you distressed? What emotion are you experiencing? Sadness, loneliness, rejection, overwhelmed, anxious, bored? How is this food going to bring you comfort? What is this food going to provide? How long is the food going to bring you comfort? And then what?
Are there other ways to seek comfort? Are there other people you could go to? No? Why not? Have you taken your distress to God?
Guilt
What are you feeling guilty about? The food you have already eaten? Something else? How is food going to help you move on?
Allow yourself to repent. To yourself or to others depending upon the situation. Forgiveness is the only way to release yourself from the guilt. Food won’t help. I promise it won’t. It will only add to the guilt and then turn deeper.
No matter the situation, God will also forgive you. Whether it is food related or otherwise you can give it all to him. I urge you to release it.
Shame
Dear friend, what are you ashamed of? What has lead you to believe you are bad, less than, or unworthy? The food won’t help ease your pain. You are worth more than using this food as a way to harm yourself. How long have you held this in?
Nothing you have done can change your worth! You are loved. You may not believe that yet, but you are loved!
Resources
In working through my own struggles with emotional eating I sought out many resources and tips.
Often I found advice just focusing on behavioral tricks. I’m sure you’ve read them and even tried a few.
- Brush your teeth after eating so you don’t eat more. — Umm…that’s great if I hadn’t already eaten three helpings of food while sitting at the table. Also, I became an expert at what foods didn’t taste too bad with toothpaste.
- Exercise instead — Sure and then afterward I would feel even more justified in eating because I just burned off extra calories!
- Do something distracting — Yep, this is when I would peruse all of the wonderful recipes on Pinterest!
The behavioral tricks may help a few times but the problem is that it doesn’t really focus on where the cravings are coming from and why they are happening.
The two books that helped me the most to break my emotional eating cycle were Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and Food Freedom Forever by Melissa Hartwig.
Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst
Made to Crave focuses on the emotional aspect of your emotional eating cycle not just the behavioral. Lysa Terkeurst challenges you to address your cravings and recognize how you are putting food before God. It’s a great book that pushes you! Check out my full review here.
Food Freedom Forever by Melissa Hartwig
Food Freedom Forever is written by the co-creator of the Whole30. The book is secular but also provides understanding to the emotional aspects of food especially in the areas of guilt and anxiety. Food Freedom Forever gave me a practical template to address food in a healthy manner so that I could focus on overcoming the emotional attachments with food.
Both books identified the same template when making food choices. Is it Permissible? If no, say for allergy sake or if you’re completing the Whole30, then the decision is made. If yes, then, is is beneficial? Is is going to nurture you? Yes? Go for it. If no, then is it worth it? What are the potential consequences?
1 Corinthians 10:23 (HCSB) “Everything is permissible,” but not everything is helpful. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything builds up.
This decision making process has been beneficial for me to follow after better understanding my emotional eating pattern. So again, emotional understanding has to come first. But you have to eat, too. This process then helps to make the best choices.
I pray that this post helps you to feel equipped to break through your emotional eating cycle!
God Bless!
Melissa
I’ve heard “Made to Crave” is an amazing book. You’ve shared some great info here.
Emotional eating is such a difficult cycle to break. Made to Crave is a beautiful resource to help people understand the ‘why’ that is driving the behavior. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
I’m trying to remember to ask myself, “Am I hungry?” before eating, and not just because it’s time to eat. I also want to stop eating when I’m full, and put away the rest of the food until later. This is especially true for middle age where you automatically gain weight while eating less than you did before.
These are great reminders and cues to work on. Food patterns are so difficult to work on because they are so closely connected to emotions and habit. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
I really enjoyed “Made to Crave,” but I haven’t read the other book! The behavioral tricks sound like they might work for me:)
I got so good at out-smarting myself which helped me to realize my food issues were more than just bad choices but emotional struggles I wasn’t really dealing with. You should check out Food Freedom Forever, too. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
This is such good advice. Instead of castigating ourselves, we should look to the roots of our habits. Eating is just one way we try to solve emotional issues. Great piece.
Rarely do behavioral responses alone alter anything long-term. Our eating pattern is just one example of that. Everything we do is driving by our thoughts and emotions. Food issues can be hard to work through, however, because of it’s intrinsic value. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
It’s definitely important to look at the root cause. Are we hungry or are we just feeding a past hurt and trying to bury it.
And what makes it all the more confusing is that often times the food we eat alters our physiological ability to tell the difference. Too much sugar or processed food can mess with the hormone leptin which gives you cues you are no longer hungry. It becomes a vicious cycle. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
Thanks for the great giveaways You have given me a lot to think about today. I struggle with weight issues and am trying to make changes in my life.
These books were a great combination and help for me. I hope that the information in both part one and two were helpful for your journey. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
PS would love to have you join us at Literacy Musing Mondays: http://maryanderingcreatively.com/gratitude-books-changed-my-life/
Thank you for the invitation!
What a practical post…thank you! I really liked Made to Crave, and I haven’t heard of the other book until now. Signing up!
Thank you, Sarah! While I loved the spiritual aspects of Made to Crave, I knew I also needed a more practical approach to food, too. The combination was beneficial for me so I pray they can do the same for someone else to break free from their emotional eating cycle. Thank you again for stopping by and signing up! God bless!
Emotional eating is such a challenge, especially when you’re an equal opportunity emotional eater like me 😉
I loved Made to Crave years ago. I’m revisiting the ideas with the 21 day devotion!
I understand equal opportunity emotional eating as well! Emotional eating often takes revisiting! Thank you for reading and commenting and God bless you on your journey!
Dear Melissa
Your blog post “How to Break Your Emotional Eating Cycle – Part Two” deals with a topic that’s a problem for many. Especially in the western culture where it seems to have become the ideal escaping work, wanting to do nothing but relax and eat.
You give some interesting suggestions on how to address and change the cycle of emotional eating.
I agree with you when you say it requires motivation and a desire to change behavioural patterns.
In general, it seems that your message, if I understand you correctly, is to treat the cause instead of the symptom.
I believe those who struggle with this can get some valuable tips from your blog post.
Blessings!
Edna Davidsen
Thank you Edna for your insights. You’re right, a person has to understand the cause of the emotionally eating and not just attempt behavioral approaches to avoid the food. Thank you again for stopping by and commenting! God bless!
You’re welcome!
I’m stopping by from a linkup.
Whenever I do emotionally eat it’s because I’m bored or restless. I usually recognize this as I’m doing so and stop dead in my tracks and shift gears. Not keeping foolish food in the house helps also.
That’s great Nylse that you are able to recognize why the eating is happening and to stop the behavior. Minimizing unhealthy food is definitely beneficial! Thank you for stopping by and commenting! God bless!
Melissa – a very important topic, but right around the holidays? Girl, you’re killing me! (Ha ha ha…) Seriously, though, it is harder around this time of year. I don’t think holiday eating equates to emotional eating, but perhaps in some ways, it does. Thanks for the reminders to eat mindfully, and the giveaways! May the person who needs the books the most win. God bless you!
Ha! Lisa, the holidays is absolutely why I did write the post. Emotional eating ramps up during this time. We allow the rich food to take a forefront instead of time with friends. The holidays is also a difficult time for a lot of people and the extra desserts and “comfort food” get used to get them through. Thank you for stopping by and commenting! God bless!
This message is more necessary than most people realize. Thank you for sharing. And happy, but moderate, eating! God bless!
It is very common but not often discussed due to embarrassment and shame. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!