22 Comments

  1. I’ve seen these issues in the adoptive children of someone I know. I’m sad that the children have so much trouble being able to receive love that is unconditional.

    • melissa

      It is very common behavior of children who are in foster placement of have been adopted. I pray that your friend understands why it is happening and is offering support. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless

    • melissa

      You are right. These issues often continue into adulthood. The best case scenarios are helping the individuals understand and experience safety in their relationship with God and others.

    • melissa

      You’re right. Hoarding and collecting happens to adults, too. My hope for the post is to help foster parents and adoptive parents understand why the behavior is taking place with the children in their home. Thank you for reading and commenting. God bless!

  2. I totally understand why this is the way it is for them. But I do see it in even adults too (ones who are not adopted!) I think it definitely has to do with unable to receive love!

    • melissa

      Yes, hoarding is not just a diagnosis for individuals who have been adopted. It often has to do with some form of past trauma. Thank you for reading and commenting. God bless!

    • melissa

      Yes, hoarding is not dependent upon attachment issues to take place but tends to happen due to trauma of some kind. Hoarding and collecting is quite typical behavior, though, for children and adults with attachment issues. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

  3. For years I was a hoarder and collector of things. As God has healed me from past traumas, my need for collecting and hoarding has diminished. It is AMAZING what the power of the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ can do! Great information here!

    • melissa

      God is good and merciful even if in the midst of working through the trauma it just feels hard. I’m so glad you have experienced God’s healing hand over your past traumas! Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

  4. Thank you for this insightful post! These tips like the clear boxes and clutter box are very helpful. It is so disheartening to read these truths about the struggles kids experience. But these are great tips to help them learn about object permanency and by God’s grace and a lot of unconditional love, I pray they learn to understand what true love really is!

    • melissa

      Thank you, Katie. It is such a long road for both the child and for the adoptive parents. God can heal all things but the child also needs to be in a place to receive His love. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

  5. I love how you provide helpful tips on being proactive with the issue. It’s one thing to recognize it, but also to tackle it head-on with these solutions will prevent a lot of difficulty as both parent and child learn to trust and love the way God wants them to!

    • melissa

      Thank you, Jess. Attachment issues are so tough for everyone involved. Sometimes the triggers that cause distress are unknown to the children themselves so it can become trial and error for the parents. My job is to try to come up with as many possible tips, tools, and solutions to head-off as many triggers as possible! Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!

  6. I see a heart full of love of Christ, and also a zeal to shape children with kindness and compassion than enforcing them to be people of our belief and culture. Truly blessed. God bless your heart and the Work of your hands.

  7. Melissa, thank you for writing this !! I have some experience with foster care, and thought I was called into the ministry………… but apparently NOT exactly, because obviously it involves the whole family, and THAT is where the deviation between my dream or desire and reality, became obvious. Never the less, it is a ministry or need that will always be near and dear to my heart, and WHO KNOWS what the Lord will bring in the future. Anyway, because of my passion for these children, on my blog facebook page……. trying to build it, and grow as a blogger who just started in May 2017, I have one article (from my blog) linked to a picture in GRANDMA MARY MARTHA album titled, “Encouragement for Life,” and in the comments, I am putting the link to THIS article that you have written. I think I also am going to add a link to your blog generally, to my favorites list which is a PAGE linked towards the top right. I pray that who needs it, will read it. In my limited experience as educator and mentor of some children with attachment disorders over the years, I HAVE dealt with this. Honestly I wish I had this article about three or four years ago when I was informally, counseling a great-grandmother who was raising her great-grandchildren…………. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for what you do !!

    • melissa

      Thank you Tammy! God places certain topics and people in our heart! Adoption and attachment disorder has been one of mine. It is a topic that can be difficult to understand and even harder to help. Thankfully we have a God who is even bigger! Thank you for commenting and blessing me with your kindness!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *