This post is part one in a two-part series. In this first post, I will focus on how to help teach your teens to follow their Christian values. In part two, I’ll focus on how to encourage your teens not be judgmental of others who aren’t following Christian values.
According to the Barna Group, nearly three out of every five young Christians (59%) disconnect either permanently or for an extended period from church life after age 15.
That’s a shocking percentage! And one we want to decrease.
How to Teach Your Teens to Follow Their Christian Values:
Build a strong foundation
If you don’t build a strong foundation, the structure will crumble over time or with pressure. That is true of our teens as well. They need a strong foundation to fall back on when being pressured by our secular world.
Bible Reading
Encourage Bible reading from a young age. But if this isn’t something that you did when your children were young, it’s okay and not too late to get your adolescents and teens to enjoy bible reading.
Find a Bible that meets your child where they are. There are so many impressive options to capture their attention.
Bible Studies
Another great way to build a strong foundation is by allowing your teen to dig into God’s word. Bible studies can offer insight and perspective on tough questions.
Family Devotionals
Time together reading and studying God’s word is also beneficial in building a strong foundation for your teen. It reinforces time together as well as the importance of God within the family and our life.
Set A Christian Example
It’s so important that our children and teens see us place God as our first priority in daily life. Do your children see you do the following?
- Pray or prayer journal
- Read your bible
- Listen to worship music
- Read Christian books
*For recommendations on Christian books and worship music check out my resources page.
Proverbs 22:6 (NASB) Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Church Involvement
“Why do I have to go to church?” How many times have you heard that question as a parent? If you haven’t yet, it’s probably going to happen at some time. And it’s not a question. It allows us, as parents, to help our children understand the importance of church.
To help your teens follow their values, it’s beneficial for them to engage and participate in church activities.
Youth Programs
Most churches have children and youth programs on Wednesday nights or Sunday mornings. This time allows your children the opportunity to connect with peers who are also on their faith journey.
Volunteer Opportunities
Getting your teen involved in church volunteer opportunities also helps them to feel needed and important in the church and in glorifying God’s kingdom. Our teens want to feel like they belong and are apart of something. Help them to get that experience through your church.
Christian Mentors
While parents are essential in children and teen’s lives, having a solid Christian mentor in their life can be an excellent addition. The mentor may be able to connect with your teen in a way you are currently struggling with due to a teen’s desire for separation from his/her parents.
The mentor can be the youth pastor or someone else in the church who has a solid faith and maybe in their early 20’s.
Summer Camps
Christian camps can also be an awesome way to keep your teens focused on faith even during the Summers. Camps can allow for greater connections with other Christian teens and the opportunity to grow in their faith.
I found a site that has compiled Christian youth camps around the United States! Check it out
1 Timothy 3:14-16 (NKJV)
These things I write to you, though I hope to come to you shortly; but if I am delayed, I write so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth. And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness:
God was manifested in the flesh,
Justified in the Spirit,
Seen by angels,
Preached among the Gentiles,
Believed on in the world,
Received up in glory.
Teach to world issues
It is not beneficial for our children to be raised in a bubble. As much as we want to shelter our children from the harsh and horrendous real-world situations. They need to know what they are up against. And they need to know what God says about these topics and why He tells us not to engage in these situations.
It needs to be so much more than a conversation of “Don’t.”
- Sex
- Pornography
- Drugs
- Sexual Orientation
- Self-Harming Behaviors
- Suicide
- Profanity/Vulgarity
- Abortion
- Family Hierarchy
John 17:14-17 (NIV) I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.
Encourage Questions
Let your teen know it is okay for them to question their faith. To not know or understand certain aspects of Christianity.
We want our children to feel comfortable enough to come to us with those questions so we can have an open dialogue.
It’s also important for us to be honest when we don’t know an answer. But then it is important that we follow up by seeking out the solution. Studying God’s word, looking into bible reference books or handbooks, or setting up a time to talk with your pastor.
Your child’s faith is worth the time and effort.
I pray that is post has been beneficial in helping you teach your teen how to follow their Christian values.
God bless!
Melissa
p.s. Check out all of the beautiful sites I link up with!
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I really appreciate your last two points. I’ve come to realize that teens seem very disinterested in God (even if they’re going to church with their parents) because they aren’t being encouraged to ask questions and/or their parents are ignoring talking to them about world-issues from a Christian standpoint.
Unfortunately, yes, I feel like certain topics just don’t get discussed with near the thoroughness as they should. That only leads to further questions or seeing answers from other people. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Great post! I have 2 teens and try to do a lot of these things. I was saddened when my daughter wanted to stop youth group because none of her friends went. And now my son doesn’t want to try it either since his friends don’t go either.
It’s so good for them and they do outreach activities all the time. I have guilt about it…I don’t know how to gently persuade them because I don’t want to force them to go.
It’s hard when teens are trying to fit in and find where they belong. Doing ministry and volunteer opportunities through the church as a family could be beneficial. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience. God bless!
You know, I would add taking them to see Christian universities and consider them as a real choice. College often is the time kids lose their faith.
Alice that’s a great point! I agree that not a lot of teens think of Christian universities as options unless they are looking to get into ministry of some kind. Thank you for the addition! God bless!
I love this list and often repeated the same things when I was youth pastoring talking to parents. I especially love how you mention talking to children about the important world subject like sex etc. I was having a conversation with my 13-year-old son the other day about dating and the guidelines that my husband and I have for him and how our guidelines are different than his friends and even other parents within the church. My friend overheard our conversation and stated she thought it was crazy that we talked about that because their parents never did and they had to figure out things themselves. I don’t want my child figuring out things on their own lol that will never end well when you’re a 13 year old boy haha!
I haven’t had the sex conversation with my kids yet (5 and 8) but there are many other worldly conversations we have discussed. I also don’t want my children to have to figure out such important information on their own! I want to guide them, not the world’s view. Thank you for stopping by, Heather, and sharing your experience. God bless!
YES. I am in college ministry and it blows my mind how many students have told me their parents never talked to them about sex or their body. For many of my girls, they were sexually abused and didn’t know how to tell or what was going on because their parents never talked to them about their bodies. Also, porn is a super big problem now-it’s available everywhere. If we don’t talk to our teens, they will get a very worldly and damaging message from the internet.
You’re absolutely right April. You would be surprised by how many parents have asked me, as the therapist, to have the sex talk with their child because they don’t know how or don’t feel comfortable enough to do it. I’ve also had many teenage girls who have endured sexual abuse of some kind and then struggle to know or understand what appropriate intimacy is supposed to look like later in life. It is such a disservice to our children. And yes, pornography is terrible in our society. It is normalized and even celebrated by far too many. So our children and teens become confused by what is “okay”. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and for your time in ministry. God bless!
I’m a big proponent for reading to children from the Bible even if using an easy to read version. The details make such a difference in sharing and discussing our faith.
I agree Kristi! We started with the children’s bible I shared in the post and have moved up from there. Now what’s great is that my 8 yr old will read the bible to my 5 yr old. (Without being asked!) It’s a positive interaction for the two of them and it’s precious to a mommy’s heart! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Thank you for your great tips. I so agree with the family worship time. We try to teach our kids how to hear from God and grow their relationship with him. I think so often church can become something we do other than who we are. It can become boring and irrelevant. I left the church at 14 and came back after a spiritual encounter in my 20’s. I think the big thing I see is that youth don’t see who God really is in our churches. They see ritual, not relationship. So you are so right, living out our walk authentically and openly is so important. Thanks for the great post and reminders x
Thank you Dee! I completely agree that your youth aren’t really experiencing the relationship of God. I think too many churches try to focus on making the church “relevant” and “hip” but then lose focus on WHO they should be getting to know. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and experience. God bless!
Thank you for pointing out that it needs to be more than a conversation about “don’t’s”! That’s often what is focused on! Also, I love how you point to examples way before they become teens. Teen years are so confusing and stressful. Having a firm foundation is so important! <3
Unfortunately “don’t” gets focused on too much in all aspects of parenting. Yes, Christian values needs to be a continual conversation starting when our children are very little. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!