When Your Spouse is Without Boundaries
According to Merriam Webster, a boundary is something that shows where an area ends and another area begins; a point or limit that indicates where two things become different.
Boundaries is then unofficial rules about what should not be done; limits that define acceptable behavior.
But when addiction takes root, boundaries become blurred, extended, trampled on, and unrecognizable. And the spouse of an addict can feel very disoriented and alone.
As a Christian mental health therapist, I’ve worked with wives who have endured this boundary-less loop from their husbands due to various addictions. Their intent has been to uphold “till death due us part” and to love and support their spouse in good times and in bad. But at the same time, to not lose their own identity in Christ (and sanity) in the process.
Identify Your Own Boundaries
Identifying your own boundaries is important for all individuals. But this is particularly important for wives when their husbands struggle with addiction and are boundary-less.
Take the time to identify all of your boundaries, guardrails, hard-lines, whatever you want to call them. Write them down. Know them.
These limits should pertain to all aspects of your life. Not just your husband’s addiction.
- Belief in God
- Time with God
- Words used
- Physical Space
- Who are friends
- Amount of time with friends
- What is shared with friends
- Spending money
I know. It’s a long list.
Please follow me over to Leah Grey’s site, where I am guest posting, to learn the other 5 ways to handle a spouse who is without boundaries!
Also check out my boundaries in marriage series.
p.s. Check out all the beautiful sites I Linkup with!
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