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3 Ways to raise a girl to be classy not sassy
Oh my, the struggle is real!
Everywhere I look little girls are being reinforced to be sassy and bossy. Cartoon and TV characters being sassy and outright rude. Brat dolls, Ever After High, Monster High, even Lily on My Big Big Friend is sassy!
Clothing lines creating graphic tees bragging that girls are sassy, bossy, and better than everyone else. Little girls roasting little boys on Youtube for breaking up with them.
No wonder we have four-year-old and five-year-old girls rolling their eyes at each other and already starting the judgmental nitpicking.
While this behavior may be par for the course when they hit puberty, I for one don’t want my four-year-old little girl to have to endure those days far earlier than necessary!
I want to raise my daughter to be classy.
Define the meaning of classy for your daughter
Merriam-Webster defines classy as “having qualities that make something or someone special and attractive”. Synonyms for classy are stylish, elegant, admirably smart, and high class.
Antonyms being tacky, inelegant, and unstylish.
My husband and I have defined “classy” for our daughter as kind, intelligent, and beautiful on the inside and out. She positively beams when we call her classy. It’s even better if we call her a classy lady!
In giving her this definition it helps to reinforce the behaviors we want her to be doing. There is nothing about that definition that is going to get her into trouble or cause playground issues.
Classy also embodies God’s desire for our daughters.
Do we need to go into the definition of sassy? That one gets dicey.
I also want to note that being classy does not stop our daughter from also being confident, strong, or independent. We are just wanting to emphasis kind, intelligent, and beautiful on the inside and out first, which only flourishes her other qualities in a loving and genuine way.
Dress your daughter in classy clothing
Pretty much every little girl I have ever met enjoys clothing to some extent.
Therefore, an easy way to reinforce this concept, is to buy clothing for your daughter that are classy. This does not have to mean expensive. It also doesn’t have to mean dresses and skirts for the little girls who would rather play in the mud!
Clothes that have clean lines, modest cuts, and simple, yet elegant designs. I’m also not saying your daughter can’t wear her favorite princess or cartoon character on the front of her shirt. The task is to find images and silhouettes that are classy.
If your young daughter’s clothing were scaled to your size, would you wear it?
If the answer is no, why? Think about how you answer this statement “There too…” And then you may need to question why you are letting her wear them.
I shop at Kohl’s, Old Navy, Target, Wal-Mart, and the Gap for my daughter and I definitely shop bargain bins and clearance sales to snag her clothes.
Amazon also has a brand I love for little girl dresses called Emma Riley.
This also extends to your daughters hair. Pinterest has beautiful and easy tutorials for the not-so-hair-savvy. I love this one.
I am not savvy at doing my daughter’s hair! My daughter has very straight hair. Tutorials are a blessing! I have curly hair that I barely know how to do myself.
(Seriously, it’s taken me thirty years to figure out what kind of product to put in my hair that doesn’t cause it to look like a throw-back to the 90’s crunchy, wet-look or too little product that I look like a lamp shade!)
Be a classy role model for your daughter
This last point is the most important. Your daughter look up to you mom!
You are her example in this crazy, sassy, messed-up world. She sees you interacting with your friends and strangers. She hears you talking to everyone around.
Are you classy or sassy? Gulp. I know. Your daughter needs a classy role model.
She needs to see you be kind, intelligent and beautiful on the inside and out. Do you show those characteristics to your daughter? We tend to do better with the first two.
But do you compliment yourself on the beautiful way God put you together? Does she see you acknowledge yourself as a beautiful woman inside and out?
I know this is an area that I need to focus on at times. I don’t want my daughter to believe she is any less than a beautiful and wonderful creation. Because all of God’s works are wonderful because they are His.
Your daughter also needs to see you dress classy, too. If you shrunk your clothes to your daughter’s size, would you want her wearing them?
Hmm…that’s a hard one.
And if your answer is, “But I’m an adult.” I’m going to challenge you, “Why does that matter?”
The same principles apply, clean lines, modest cuts, and simple, yet elegant designs. The site ModLi has great modest yet fashionable clothing.
While classy is the opposite of sassy. Classy is not the opposite of boring either, so I am certainly not saying that your daughter, or you, have to be a stick in the mud.
There are great Mother-Daughter date experiences to help reinforce the idea of being classy as well as have a fun time.
Ultimately, it is about teaching your daughter how to be the wonderful little girl as God designed her to be, not the sassy girl that the world is pushing her to be!
God Bless!
Melissa
Amen! I don’t understand the race to make their child the sassiest. Yet, it seems some are doing just that. It will be a nightmare at 13. It also isn’t attractive. This was a really great point to role model classy and I had been thinking about it but hadn’t defined it. You did so beautifully!
Thank you for such kind words! At the ripe old age of almost 5, my daughter can identify what it means to be classy and will steer away from clothes that are not. “That does not look like a lady!”
You are so right! While I’m not a fan of toddlers exercising bossy lips or disrespect in any way, I have grinned at clothing slogans that say things like “Mommy’s Bossy Little Girl” or something similar. My girls are all grown up now and I’m happy to say they are two classy young women. 🙂 I do buy clothing for gifts sometimes though so I’ll be sure to keep this in mind. I also agree that modeling classiness is important for all of us. Other young ladies, not necessarily our own daughters, are watching us. They need to know what classy means and that it’s not “out of style.” Great points!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! It’s important that we aren’t encouraging and aiding the behavior through our own actions! God Bless!
I’ve never heard of that brand of clothes on Amazon, is the sizing correct? I love the idea of defining classy to them! Thanks for this!
The sizing seems true to fit in my daughter’s case. In our crazy world of skewed definitions for both girls and boys I think it is important for us to create and reinforce the our desires and expectations for them. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. God bless!
I love this. We talk about all of these topics in our home. I do get sass from two of my girls and I blame the tween and teen transition. However, they are respectful young ladies who love the Lord, are modest and enjoy relationships with their peers, family and other adults. And I am proud of them. We remain transparent in our household and have very real conversations about life and how our faith affects our living. Thank you.
Maryann, that is so great that you guys have transparent conversations with your children. That is so important for them to understand their role in the world around them. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Definitely a very needed post and advice. As our daughters were growing up, we always prayed that they would be “sensible, chaste, domestic, and kind.” Sassy has no place in our little girls’ lives.
Those are great characteristics for our girls to become. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
What a great topic, Melissa! My daughter and I have similar tastes and share clothes. She is definitely more classy than sassy. This would be so helpful when she was little to go through!
It is so hard with my daughter because everywhere we go she is seeing examples of sassy little girls. We are continually having this conversation. Unfortunately she has been on the receiving end of a sassy girls comments but thankfully she has come to realize (at the ripe old age of 5) that this hurtful and not how God wants girls (anyone) to be. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! God bless!
Great wisdom! I have boys but can also I believe go for them in some ways, especially with logos and T-shirts that are made for toddlers 🙂 I also like your point about you being an example of classy to your kids. Thanks for sharing this 🙂
Yes, the baby and toddler onesies and shirts seem to be getting more and more vulgar. I see the kid and preteen boy shirts to be focused on laziness. Which only fuel’s societies flames that boys (males) are worthless and women don’t need them. It’s truly disgraceful. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
WE have one girl in our house that is full of sass. It’s our dog so we nicknamed her sassafrass. She is persistent and I use her as an example to my children of how to be respectful, patient, loving, and kind instead of bossy and sassy.
That’s so great that you are able to use her as an example for your children! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your example! God bless!
It’s so important to live how we want our kids to turn out! Now as an adult, I find myself going back to the good ways and advice of my parents even after I’ve rebellion certain areas
I love this!! I am raising two little boys to be respectful and chivalrous. It’s important to me that they have some classy young ladies to be around! I wasn’t raised as “classy” as this, but I was taught to respect myself and my brothers in Christ. This is a great post and one I hope is shared and lived out! <3 <3
Katie, I wasn’t raised as classy as this either but I wish I had been. There were many thoughts and issues I had to overcome (and still struggle with) that potentially wouldn’t have affected me as strongly if I would have been raised more this way. That coupled with the level of disrespect I see now in our little girls and grown women. I want very much to make sure my daughter embraces the idea of “classy”. You know, we could always find a way for my daughter to meet one of your sons! 😉 Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!