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I first came across the Proverbs 31 woman when I was a pretty new Christian of about twenty or so.

I was dating my now husband and I was starry-eyed about wanting to do and be everything for him. But the more I read through those verses, the more I became a bit significantly overwhelmed.  I mean seriously, how is one person able to do all of those things?!

So I turned away from the idea of trying to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. And actually became quite angry at her. Because all I saw when I read those verses were my inadequacies. My failures. And my downfalls.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NKJV)

The Virtuous Wife

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
¹¹ The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
¹³ She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
¹⁵ She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
¹⁹ She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
²⁰ She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
²² She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
²⁵ Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷ She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

The first place to start

There are two posts that I would recommend you start with on your journey to a better understanding of the Proverbs 31 woman. Neither of these posts focuses on the verses themselves but rather the history and context in which this Proverb was written.

• Gina Poirier of ginampoirier.com has a blog post called The Proverbs 31 Woman – 10 Myths Explained. The post is a great start to address the context and commonly misunderstood information about these verses.
• Lisa Yvonne of Graceful Abandon has a blog post called A Proverbs 31 Bible Study Soaked in Grace. This is a beautiful post to help you also understand the history surrounding the verses but also to help you have your heart and head in the right place.

Blog posts

As you can imagine, I came across what felt like hundreds of Proverbs 31 blog posts. I tried to narrow down and focus on posts that walked through each verse or character trait as opposed to posts that were application guides.

• Lisa Yvonne of Graceful Abandon also has a blog post that walks through each character trait called The Ultimate Guide To Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman.
• Rebekah Joy of More Radiance has a two-part series walking through the verses called  What You Need to Know About the Proverbs 31 Woman – Part One and Part Two.
• Deidre of Wife, Mom, Superwoman wrote a devotional post that walks through (not quite all) the verses in a unique way. It’s called Proverbs 31: A Devotional for the Modern Woman. She starts with a reflection of the verse and then has a prayer to help guide the reader to focus more on that characteristic.

Free Downloads

I tried to stick to free downloadable devotionals so that my study didn’t start costing me an arm and a leg. My goals were to find devotional studies that broke down the Proverbs 31 verses, offered insights, and other additional scripture references to increase understanding and knowledge.

Angelica Duncan of Proverbs 31 Businesswoman has 15-day online devotional called Proverbs 31 Woman Online Bible Study. I have to say this was my favorite resource! She has a downloadable devotional journal and companion workbook to print out and keep track of each day. She encourages you to use the SOAP Method (Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer) for that day’s verse and then move on to the lesson. Every day for the 15 days you receive an email to walk you through that coordinating lesson, including a video. Angelica is thorough in her study and offers great insights.

Courtney Joseph of Women Living Well has a devotional called The Proverbs 31 Woman – One Virtue At A Time. I only went through the free ebook (which I really enjoyed, too), but you can also get a free ejournal, bible reading guide, and access to companion videos of the study. The journal and reading guide is a 14-week walk through of Proverbs 31! It looks really great but I just didn’t have the ability to commit that much time with all of my other hats I wear.

Sarah of Ministry Minded Mom has a free devotional called 21 Days to Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman that you can access by signing up for her newsletter. This devotional offers a quick daily read. It’s not as extensive as the above two, but she also offers a full toolkit for purchase that has more information and resources. As I stated, I hadn’t intended on buying any resources, however, my husband and I bought the homeschool character bundle from Build Your Own Bundle and Sarah’s for purchase items were included in the bundle. I then was able to utilize her workbook, bible verse and prayer cards, and other items.

Bonus: Gina Poirier of ginampoirier.com has a 7-day devotional called Woman of Strength – A Fresh look at Proverbs 31. You have to sign up for her newsletters but then get access to all of her free resources. The 7-day devotional doesn’t touch on all of the verses of Proverbs 31 but it’s not meant to. Instead the focus in on strength: inspiring strength, strength in God, strength in work, strength in grace, strength in compassion, strength in wisdom, and strength in rest.

Take Away

Unfortunately, sometimes when reading scripture we can experience shame, doubt, and self-loathing. Please know that this is not God’s intent. He is love. And He is good. His desire is to bring each and everyone one of us to Himself.

If you are reading an area of scripture that evokes those emotions there are a few potential reasons:

• You are misunderstanding the context of the scripture.
• You have been intentionally or unintentionally taught wrong about aspects of God.
• You have trauma and pain in your past tainting your view of yourself.
• You are experiencing spiritual warfare and are being fed lies to hinder your connection with God.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)