Dear Daughter, Perfection isn’t Attainable

Dear Daughter, Perfection isn’t Attainable

Perfection gets discussed a lot in referencing sin and behaviors. Yet we seem to be lagging a bit in terms of helping our daughters understand that physical perfection isn’t attainable either.

Everywhere you look there are images of beautiful women. Perfect skin, makeup, and hair. Perfect bodies and proportions.

It’s overwhelming. And it’s not reality.

Because while technology is amazing, it’s not to be trusted.

Models and actresses are airbrushed, edited, and sometimes even computer generated. There is now also the ability to add a person’s face to a video seamlessly. Meaning anyone could take your picture and add it to a video of someone else’s body doing unmentionable things. (That’s scary!)

And then there’s Snapchat which allows a person to add filters and alter images to make the person whatever version of themselves they want to be. I work with preteen and teenage girls who are unwilling to send pictures of themselves on Snapchat without use of a filter because they fear they look “too plain.”

Our daughters need to understand the false images they are being presented with so that they aren’t comparing themselves to something that isn’t even real.

[ctt template=”7″ link=”Scpef” via=”yes” ]Our daughters need to understand the false images they are being presented with so that they aren’t comparing themselves to something that isn’t even real.[/ctt]

They need to understand their God given beauty!

Perfection – Share the Truth

Perfection doesn’t exist. Help your daughters to understand that the images they are seeing in ads and billboards aren’t real. They are an impossible standard that aren’t attainable.

[ctt template=”7″ link=”W2f1J” via=”yes” ]Help your daughters to understand that the images they are seeing in ads and billboards aren’t real. They are an impossible standard that aren’t attainable.[/ctt]

Dove has made some amazing ads to help women understand the editing and photo-shopping that takes place. Watch the videos and share them with your daughter. Use them as a way to start this conversation.         – Dove Evolution, Teen Dove Evolution,

Teach Self-Love – Both Inside and Out

Help your daughter to understand she is beautiful the way God created her. Both inside and out.

There seems to be a message floating around to Christian moms that we are only to focus on our daughter’s inward beauty and not address her physical attributes.

But God made your daughter both inside and out. He chose her facial features, skin tone, hair type, height, and body proportions. She is His creation. Help her to celebrate all of her beauty.

Video – Let’s change the way she sees herself!

• Make a list together of your daughter’s positive character qualities.
• Now list her talents, gifts, and accomplishments.
• Then make a list of her physical attributes.
  • Allow her to tell you what she likes and dislikes. The aspects she dislikes help her to see the beauty in these qualities.
• Teach your daughter her body type and how to best dress her body as she was created.
  • Go shopping together – even if it is just to try on different styles of clothing to help her see what shapes she feels most comfortable with.
• Help your daughter to understand that makeup does NOT make her beautiful. If it’s going to be worn, it should only be used to highlight the beauty she already has.
  • Play with makeup together. Have fun! Show her different looks that are subtle, classy and celebrate her beauty – not overpower and hide it.

Be Her Role Model

We need to break this cycle. I can talk all day long on how beautiful I think my daughter is, but I know that’s a harder conversation for me to have about myself.

But when our daughters see us putting down our looks they come to believe it’s normal and acceptable. That it’s what a woman is supposed to do.

Please watch these videos to see how our daughters pick up on what we dislike about ourselves. Dove Legacy and Own worst critic.

If you struggle in this area, I encourage you to create the same lists I suggested for your daughter. Find someone you trust, a friend, your mom, your husband and have them help you recognize your own beauty.

Seek God’s Word

Teach your daughter her beauty and worth based upon the perfection of Jesus Christ! (You may need reminding as well.)

1 Corinthians 6:19-20(NIV) Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here!

Colossians 3:1-4 (NASB) 3 Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. ³ For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

Ephesians 4:24(NIV) and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Romans 12:2 (NASB) And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Ephesians 3:12 (NIV) In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power,love and self-discipline.

Colossians 3:12 (NIV) Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

1 Corinthians 3:16 (NASB) Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?

Genesis 1:27 (NASB)God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

I pray that this post meets you and your daughter exactly where you are and helps you to banish the idea of perfection and take up the understanding of your true beauty!

God bless!

Melissa

p.s. Check out all of the beautiful sites I linkup with!