Applying Paul’s Teachings in Today’s Christian Marriages
In all that I have read about Corinth, the Christians of that time had their work cut out for them. The area and people were filled with immorality and false teachings.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11(NIV) Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
The Corinthian’s following Paul and the church were able to find their way through the impure and focus on God.
But temptation remained in the area.
They had to focus and keep steadfast with God’s word. Paul’s teachings and letters continually reminded the early Christians that they were to follow a different path. They were to live differently that the majority around them.
Does anyone else see parallels for today’s Christian marriages?!
[ctt template=”7″ link=”b2a0e” via=”yes” ]Paul’s letters continually reminded the early Christians that they were to follow a different path and live differently that the majority around them. Does anyone else see parallels for today’s Christian marriages? [/ctt]
Today’s Christian Marriages
All around us we see immorality. It’s being normalized, celebrated, taught, pushed, praised, and even preached. The sanctity of marriage has become criticized and watered down.
We live in a society that embraces the concept of “starter marriage”. The definition is a short-lived (under five years) first marriage between young adults, viewed as a form of preparation for a subsequent, more lasting one with different partners.
Pornography and promiscuity are also becoming epidemic. You can’t walk into a mall without the posters showing scantily clad women in provocative poses. And what is allowed on cable television is astounding. Don’t get me started on leggings.
And as you read this, I caution you to not roll your eyes and believe I’m a prude or a stick in the mud.
I’m a mental health therapist having worked for close to ten years with adolescents, teenagers, families and married couples. I have seen the negative effects of our growing immorality on a micro-level time and time again. It’s destroying our marriages and our children.
A common side effect of viewing pornography for males is erectile dysfunction. Meaning they are unable to achieve an erection without the stimulation of pornography. This prevalence increases the younger the male starts viewing the pornographic material.
While their are not as many studies, the same appears to be true for females. The more women are seeking orgasms through stimulation by devices (dildos, vibrators and pornography) the less they are able to achieve orgasms during intercourse.
I currently am working with four children under the age of eleven for pornography addictions. You cannot tell me this isn’t a problem.
Applying Paul’s Teachings
Let’s look at Paul’s recommendations for the people of Corinth who were dealing with sexual immorality all around them.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NKJV)
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
First, we need to be reminded that sexual intimacy in a marriage is a gift from God! It is the most physically and emotionally intimate act you can do with any human-being.
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
This verse is talking about fulfilling each others sexual needs and desires. I love the NKJV translation of “affection due”. The use of the word affection shows more of a tone of caring and providing for your spouse.
The NIV and NASB versions talk about “duty”. While fulfilling our spouse’s sexual needs is a part of our role as a spouse, I dislike the use of the word “duty” as it tends to have negative connotations.
Sexual intimacy is supposed to be enjoyable not a begrudged “wifely duty”.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
There are many women who STRONGLY dislike this verse. Why? Because it goes against what society preaches – our bodies are our own. This is what makes Christian marriages unique. It is joining and giving yourself to your spouse in all ways.
Remember, the unity of a husband and wife is the same as Jesus with the church (us). Jesus gave of Himself for us. He humbled Himself beyond measure for our salvation. And we, as the church, are to join and give all aspects of our life to Him.
This is why a key component of marriage has to be trust and respect. Without that, we are unable and/or unwilling to be vulnerable with our spouse.
Also of note, Jesus never forces us to follow Him. He pursues us but it is always our decision. This too need to be a tenant in a marriage. *Forcing sex upon your spouse is NEVER okay. It is abuse even within a marriage.
5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Don’t use sex as a weapon. Do not deprive one another. If there is a reason you are not wanting to have sex or not interested in sex then that needs to be a conversation between you and your spouse. I recognize that may be a difficult and/or uncomfortable conversation. But isn’t the health of your marriage worth it?
Isn’t the health of your soul?
We need to acknowledge that Satan is real and he uses our needs and desires against us.
Our society is currently in a state that it’s not difficult to find or seek out sexually impure images and behaviors. We can’t allow him a foothold in our marriage, our mind, or our heart.
This is why Paul tells the people of Corinth to come together again – meaning engage in sexual intimacy with your spouse. Because not only is sex a beautiful gift from God and a way to connect with your spouse. But it is also a way to fight against the sexual immorality of the world around us. It is a way to keep our heart and mind pure.
I pray that this post reminds you of the different path Christian marriages are supposed to follow.
God bless!
Melissa
Well thought out and laid out lesson you have presented here. I hope you have many who will read it. Coming to you from Recharge Wednesday.
Bless~
Thank you Christy for for stopping by and commenting. God bless!
I really enjoyed this! It’s so true. Christians get pulled into the culture around them and that becomes more influential than the Word of God. I appreciate your truth and loyalty to scripture here!
Thank you Kristina! It can be so hard for marriages to remain rooted in the word if they aren’t acknowledging the temptations. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
This is a hard topic for many but you pointed out what God says in His Word in a very loving but truthful way. Awesome!
Thank you Christina! It’s a topic that needs to be discussed. Thank you for stopping by! God bless!
Children under 11? Oh my. How heart-breaking. Thank you for the work you’re doing to bring health to families again. Lord, have mercy.
It is very heart-breaking. Thank you for your encouragement. I need all I can get! And thank you for stopping by and reading. God bless!
How sad especially the kids addicted to porn under the age of 11?!?? This is why it’s so important to follow God and His guidelines about marriage so we can have a marriage that God desires!
How sad especially the under 11-year-olds! As a parent that is worrisome, and it makes me more steadfast to teach them God’s guidelines so they can have happy marriages that God desires!
I know. It makes me want to put my kid in bubble wrap with ear muffs on! But in reality, you’re right, if we teach them God’s guidelines and why they are best for us, they will be equipped with all they need. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Great reminder to us who are married Christians. I do see a thread throughout the younger generation- living together as a form of trying out for a possible marriage or getting engaged but never setting a date because they already live together and are intimate. Because of this there is no urgency to get married and that has devastating affects on the relationship for the long run. God really knows what He is talking about when he gives us marital instruction. It is for our good not harm.
It is for good not harm. But it is so hard for so many people to see it that way. It has to be a shift in mentality from “I want it right now!” (It happening to be whatever is there in the moment.) To “I will wait and follow you.” Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
It’s so sad how our society is embracing starter marriages. Even worse is children under 11 suffering from porn addictions. Thank you for your servant heart to let God use you to bring His truth and health to those He brings across your path everyday. Not just at your workplace, but through your writing. Blessings …
I have asked my students what they think the world would look like without sexual immorality. No adultery, no rape, no sexually transmitted diseases, no pedophilia, no porn… we make a drastic mistake when we believe that our actions do not affect the world.
I never really applied his teachings and life experiences to marriage. I need to take a second look.
I’m glad the post made you pause! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thought. God bless!
The other day, I was so shocked when I saw a family sitcom expressing that porn in a relationship is natural and healthy. What?!? From what authority is this coming from and why do sitcoms feel the need to address such a personal issue for families?
I completely agree that sustaining intimacy in marriage is our way of fighting against sexual immorality. Because the fight is real, and it’s a growing epidemic that is threatening our marriages and families.
I love studying Paul. I learn so much through his writings and teachings! His teachings still ring true in our world today! The line in the sand is becoming more defined. We are to be different and stand out… Christian marriage should look different. I love how you point out that some women loathe that verse, and how you go on to tell the truth about that verse. If we are Christians we believe all that we have (including our bodies) is not our own but God’s. He knows the struggles in this world, and if He has commanded husband and wife to act a certain way with each other, it’s only for our good, His good. <3 A powerful message and one that should be addressed more often in the church!
The line in the sand seems to be turning into a chasm! Sexual intimacy is a topic that has become so skewed in our society and definitely needs to be addressed more thoroughly in church and in our Christian communities. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and insights. God bless!
Thank you for this post. It is so refreshing to hear of someone that is not afraid to speak the truth pertaining to God’s word. Continue to allow God to use you.
God Bless you
Thank you very much Janell. I’m glad you found the post beneficial. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
This is a great read. Thank you for this post and touching on an unpopular area in Scripture and marriages. I really liked your take on these verses.
Coming to you via the Grace and Truth linkup.
Thank you Ashley. Sexual intimacy seems to be a touch that is too often avoided however this is an area that so many of my marriage clients are struggling with. It needs to be discussed. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!