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According to Merriam-Webster, to compare is to examine the character or qualities of especially in order to discover resemblances or differences; to view in relation to.
We innately make comparisons where ever we go and do. The food we pick in the grocery store. Clothes we pick to wear each day. Food we ate at a restaurant. The music we are listening to.
Comparisons take place as a way for our brains to create order and value to the things around us. While this is a positive in situations such as finances and decision making, comparisons can kill your identity.
When we compare aspects or ourselves and our life to other people we are also attempting to create a value and order of us.
Yet no person is of better value or quality to God. His love for us is perfect and unconditional because of Him not us.
[ctt template=”7″ link=”2PSaa” via=”yes” ]No person is of better value or quality to God. His love for us is perfect and unconditional because of Him not us. Each one of us has a God-designed path. Don’t allow comparisons to kill your identity. [/ctt]
The process of believing someone else is better than you causes you to lose your worth and your purpose. You no longer believe you matter. On Earth or for God’s kingdom. But each one of us has a God-designed path.
We need to acknowledge all of the ways we compare ourselves to others.
“Not Enough” Comparisons –
These are the categories that we often feel like we are not good enough compared to others. These comparisons are often associated with believing others are better and thus we are less than.
Appearances
This area seems to be one of the first comparisons we make when insecurities are high. (At least that seems to be true for most women) We will size up other women to see who’s the smallest, thinnest, curviest, prettiest, etc. And then we tend to rank ourselves within the group.
We objectify ourselves. You can argue until the cows come home that this started with how men view us. Except we are the ones who continue and perpetuate this problem. Each one of us, individually, have the ability to stop the objectification in our own minds.
How to Stop –
- Learn to respect your body.
- Appreciate what your body does for you.
- Focus on viewing your appearance as God’s design.
Internal/Character
“She’s so much kinder than me.” “People love being around her.” “I wish I was more like her.”
These comparisons diminish our God given qualities and characteristics. They are passing judgment on ourselves. And with judgment comes criticism and potentially self-loathing.
We each have our areas of growth that we are to journey towards. But our journey is only our own.
How to Stop –
- Acknowledge your positive qualities.
- Focus on how those characteristics are God honoring.
- Think of how you are uniquely able to bring people to God’s kingdom.
Spirituality
Our relationship with God is personal and yet we often get stuck in the comparison trap with other Christians. They know more bible verses. Look at all the ministries they are involved in. I’m not as connected with God as they are.
These are lies that Satan uses to hinder us from seeking and growing in our faith.
How to Stop –
- Focus on your own personal time with Jesus.
- Engage in bible studies and tools that will grow your understanding and faith.
- Utilize a prayer journal to be able to reflect on your own growth and how God has worked in your life.
- Find your own unique ways to praise and worship God.
Our Works
This can be such a difficult area to stop comparisons. Social media and Pinterest are often daily reminders of the “stuff” people are doing. But these are such a false reality. These outlets are only highlights of people’s life.
And somewhere along the line, Christians have also struggled with the misconception that our works is the way to God’s blessings. Yet it is faith and grace alone that brings us salvation. And God’s blessings are no different.
How to Stop –
- Unplug from social media every once in a while.
- Set personal goals based on your own desire for growth.
Family
This is a category that we don’t always acknowledge or admit we compare with others. But again, this is an area that we can let the snippets we see of other people’s life cause comparisons. What someone else’s spouse does. The accomplishments of someone else’s kids. Or the connections of someone else’s relatives.
How to Stop –
- Focus on being thankful for your spouse.
- Recognize the positive attributes of your children.
- Acknowledge the blessing God has given your family.
Possessions
This can be an easy area to get sucked into. Everywhere around us there are advertisements, marketing ploys, and commercials. We can fall into the trap of comparing house size, car make/models, clothing brands, decorations, etc.
Comparisons in this area can lead to discontentment and envy.
How to Stop –
- Acknowledge your needs verses wants.
- Recognize how God has provided for you.
- Understand that “stuff” doesn’t lead to happiness or joy.
“Too Much” Comparisons –
These are the categories in which we feel like we are more than others. More messed up. More broken. Complex. Wounded.
This type of comparison often gets overlooked however this is the area that leads people to remain victims. To believe they are too far gone. That they will never be worthy of a life any better than what they have experienced.
Our Past
We all have negative experiences that plague us. But, admittedly, some people have had to endure more trauma, abuse, and/or pain. That doesn’t mean there is anything “wrong” with you.
As I wrote in the beginning. No one is worth more to God or anyone else. That means there is nothing that has happened in your past or nothing that you chose to do that can keep you from God if you repent and ask for forgiveness.
You are worth loving because you are a child of God.
How to Stop –
- Ask for God’s forgiveness in past behaviors you feel guilty or ashamed of.
- Work towards forgiving yourself of any past situations.
- Let go of resentment and bitterness towards others who have hurt you.
Our Current Situation
The same is true of your current situation. No matter what you have going on in your life right now. God will love you just as you are. And with His love you can move forward.
Don’t get caught up comparing yourself to the people around you. They haven’t experienced the same situations and circumstances. Your life is your journey. And your path is your own.
How to Stop –
- Ask God to show you the areas He want you to give over to Him.
- Seek support from someone you trust.
- Allow yourself to be loved by God. He wants a relationship with you. Now. Right as you are.
I pray that is post helps you to stop the evil trap of comparisons and acknowledge your worth. Right as you are!
What area of comparisons do you struggle with the most? Let me know in the comments below.
God bless,
Melissa
p.s. Check out all of the beautiful sites I linkup with.
Our value must be anchored in God and in the things of Him!
So very true Andrea! He provides us strength in this world of judgment and comparisons. Thank you for stopping. God bless!
Comparisons are the worst! What helps me the most is to shift my focus from myself to Jesus. To take it to the Lord in prayer and let Him work in my heart.
Yes, focusing on Jesus as opposed to ourselves is always beneficial for EVERY situation. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Our identity can only be found in Christ and in the things of the Kingdom!
So true Andrea! God bless!
We do compare EVERYTHING it seems like! So encouraging to read this, this morning, thank you!
I’m glad that you found it beneficial. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Such a great topic and a great reminder! With all the social media, it is so easy to get caught up in the comparison game. Love this! Thank you for a great message to start the week with!
Thank you Pam! I’m glad you found it beneficial. Comparisons can be just so harmful to our identity and the path God has for us. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Love this! What an important post. Reminds me of Philippians 4:6-8! When we choose to focus on what is true, and honorable and right and pure, and lovely and admirable, and excellent, and worthy of praise – with a spirit of thanksgiving – then we will be able to not be anxious, but to have the peace of God that passes all understanding!
Esther those are my favorite bible verses! I have it on a bracelet that I wear everyday! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and insights! God bless!
Needed this post, especially being a blogger! It’s easy to start comparing.
I’m glad you found it beneficial Sylvia! Yes, being a blogger can be such a struggle to not compare other people’s sites, products, success, followers, etc. Knowing your personal “why” is important. This is an area I continually pray and focus on. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Unfortunately, I can relate to most of these comparison traps! And I was just talking with my husband about his comparison which is common to men, that of their job/how much money they make. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that our comparisons cause us to apply worth or value to ourselves, or lack thereof. It can be so hard to remember that in Christ, we are precious children of God and have value in Him alone. Thank you for these reminders and helps on how to end our comparison game!
I think if we’re being honest, most of us can relate to these comparison traps! It becomes much to easy to do if we are not proactively guarding ourselves from it. We actively need to remember our identity in Christ. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experiences. God bless!
My daughter is really struggling with this. Social media has about destroyed our kids with the comparison stuff. Thanks for some good suggestions.
Social media really is such a hard thing for our children/teens to have to figure out how to navigate. I pray she comes to understand her worth in Jesus! God bless!
I’ve been so encouraged by all of these Identity and Image posts, Melissa! Comparing is something I definitely struggle with! There’s always someone to compare ourselves to, but that’s so flawed! We shouldn’t try to measure up to another human’s standards! God’s measurement is the only one of value and worth! <3
Identity and image have definitely been on my heart lately. It’s an area that I have struggled with and I know so many other ladies have as well. My prayer is that these posts can encourage others to embrace their identity and worth in God. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. God bless!
I’ve been realizing in the last week or so how much I’m comparing myself to others, whether that’s physically, or in my work, my blog, or whatever else. It’s so hard to overcome! I’ve been doing little things, like not looking at any social media, work, or blogging things over the weekend so I don’t spend as much time comparing. Still, I feel like I have a long way to go. So glad you give suggestions on how to overcome different kinds of comparisons. Super helpful!
I can get into these ruts as well. Focusing on my God’s truth and how He sees me is helpful and then acknowledging my own positive traits (while not always comfortable) is really beneficial, too. I’m glad you found the post helpful Ashleigh, thank you for stopping by! God bless!
I’ve had to come to a place before God that I accept all the strengths and weaknesses He gave me, and I know I am accepted and loved. I want others to be all they can be, too.
That is such an awesome place to be Susan! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience. God bless!
It’s so hard not to compare my real life with someone else’s social media highlight reel. But when I stop to think, I can remind myself that my value is because God made me and lives me, not what I do or how my home looks.
So true! I’m glad you are able to remind yourself of your value! You are a daughter of God! And that is always enough. God bless!
I love how you broke this up into different areas and then gave us the tips on how to overcome each area! Super helpful, Melissa!
Thank you Julie! It’s important to be able to pinpoint where the source of the comparisons are coming from as they may require different ways to stop. Thank you for stopping by. God bless!
I always say that I am God’s favorite. And so are you! God is big enough to hold us individually in Hod heart. Comparisons are no longer necessary!
That is such a great thought to really wrap our head’s around. We each individually are His favorite. Only He is capable of that kind of love and adoration for each of us. Thank you for sharing this perspective, Alice! God bless!
I love that you included a little section for each one on “how to stop.” This post deserves a re-read for sure! You have so many good insights for us.
Thank you Amy! I’m glad that you found the post beneficial. God bless!
Absolutely true. Couldn’t agree more. We lose our God given identity if we tend to compare the lack.
Yes! Thank you Ann! God bless!
Focusing on Jesus and his love for us can definitely help us not focus and compare ourselves to others.
So true Kristi! Focusing on Jesus is truly the answer to ALL of life’s problems! Thank you for stopping by and commenting. God bless!
Look to Jesus. Hebrews 12:2, we all have different gifts whether large or small, seen or unseen, some may never realize until heaven the people they’ve helped.
So true Rebecca! I think so often we focus on certain types of gifts and forget that we are all different but equally delighted in by God. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your encouragement. God bless!